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-   -   The Tipsy Tale: An Oblivion Adventure (https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=196535)

Hottentot 07-12-12 11:29 AM

http://i.imgur.com/wzB3Q.jpg
Just as I'm sleeping off the hangover I got because of that stupid Jorundr stashing away too much money...


http://i.imgur.com/4nHnJ.jpg
This pencil neck comes wake me up and demands to know what's going on.


http://i.imgur.com/c9yxq.jpg
He quickly learns the same thing as my two former neighbors: no one disturbs my hangover mornings.


http://i.imgur.com/nGClv.jpg
No, not even cute red heads filled to brim with clichéd RPG one-liners...


http://i.imgur.com/ysmqn.jpg
As I'm walking out of the pub, yet another guy stops me. I try frightening him away by telling what I did to his pals, but unfortunately he turns out to be a mathematician...


http://i.imgur.com/sGM3Z.jpg
Finally, there is this chick with a sword she shouldn't be able to even lift with those rope arms of her. Did I accidentally wake up in a bloody videogame?


http://i.imgur.com/n4UdB.jpg
Well, I was hoping at least that there would be an accordingly beautiful damsel in distress too after all my trouble, but all I get is a hippie boy with horrible hairstyle. Typical! If he says a single word about my princess being in another castle, I'm going to mash his face in.


http://i.imgur.com/htJPo.jpg
That bar just plain sucked! I need to vent off some steam by hitting pencil necks. A lot!


http://i.imgur.com/gobNO.jpg
It would be easier if they finally found me a helmet that suits my noble form.


http://i.imgur.com/H5ycO.jpg
After lots of pencil neck hitting, the black man starts calling me with names! Typical! All tough words, but still refuses to fight me himself! Well, I'll show him!


http://i.imgur.com/GlP7w.jpg
Mr. Angsty Lifestory is more impressed by my prowess and realizes how empty and meaningless his life has been compared to mine.


http://i.imgur.com/zDWdv.jpg
But most of all, the rack is still not impressed! Argh! [Beeb], woman, you live in a celibate or something?!


http://i.imgur.com/P0HAY.jpg
At one point I get tired and need to cool off a little between the matches. So instead I decide to observe how some other poor fools get maimed.


http://i.imgur.com/CEQS2.jpg
Hey, no one told me they served free refreshments for the audience!


http://i.imgur.com/VIW32.jpg
Cheeeeersh...wonderful, Lions, wonderful! Never forget 1995!

Hottentot 07-13-12 07:53 AM

http://i.imgur.com/GUt3o.jpg
Öörrr, den glider in!!!


http://i.imgur.com/nBbkB.jpg
Den glider in i mål igen!!!


http://i.imgur.com/LAd3a.jpg
Vou, vou, vou...ugh...Best! Party! Ever!!


http://i.imgur.com/aRKwY.jpg
What are those guys staring down there?


http://i.imgur.com/osPEI.jpg
What? Is it something I said?


http://i.imgur.com/El1OO.jpg
Did...did that [beeb] statue just...talk?!!


http://i.imgur.com/lf39J.jpg
Delirious or not, when a huge scary statue tells you to do something, I know it's more healthy than not to just nod your head. So before I knew it, it popped me to this little village in the middle of nowhere and told me to go scare the [beeb] out of some local redneck.


http://i.imgur.com/rvAC1.jpg
Easy enough. That boy is the only guy within 10km radius.


http://i.imgur.com/PR6g8.jpg
He also turns out to be a real loser. So I'm sure scaring him will be easy. So...boo!


http://i.imgur.com/i0zQE.jpg
Melus Petilius?! Heehehehehheheee, really?! And I'm Biggus Dickus!


http://i.imgur.com/CzEsF.jpg
Sissyyyy! Pansyy! Nyah nyah nyah!!


http://i.imgur.com/xuq3K.jpg
What, not crying yet? Well, nancy boy, give me your lunch money then or I'll beat you up!


http://i.imgur.com/KAGGu.jpg
[Beeb], missed!


http://i.imgur.com/kogWv.jpg
Stop being so annoyingly polite!!


http://i.imgur.com/73FVt.jpg
Ha! Hit you!


http://i.imgur.com/60jCr.jpg
Stop that!

Hottentot 07-13-12 07:57 AM

http://i.imgur.com/Gsbom.jpg
Screw this, I'm getting a headache from those overly talky academic guys. I'll go drink the apple juices from his fridge soon, but first I need to take a dump. That statue can't deny me my constitutional right for self-relieving on employer's time.


http://i.imgur.com/qu3Kk.jpg
This looks like a suitably remote place. That stone will make sure no one comes peeking too much . OK now:


http://i.imgur.com/87qXR.jpg
Hnngh!

Should have taken some toilet paper here too, but can't get it all...


http://i.imgur.com/BEKyy.jpg
Hey, it's the nerd again. Why does he look so upset? Did someone throw his cap into dog poo or flush his head in toilet?


http://i.imgur.com/2AKjR.jpg
Ooo, is the little sissy going to hit me with a club? Yeah right, like he could...


http://i.imgur.com/elDzS.jpg
Hey! Stop that!


http://i.imgur.com/Oc4yF.jpg
At least let me put my freaking pants back on!


http://i.imgur.com/vqu6p.jpg
Well great! Now the stupid statue decided to teleport me back here! My pants are still in there, and I don't even know where that village is!


http://i.imgur.com/iB9tx.jpg
The talky statue is happy and promises me a great reward.


http://i.imgur.com/AKdtG.jpg
But even when it's a freaking huge statue that can talk, it can't conjure me new pants. Some god. It can't even make the mosquitoes go away from my legs...

Hottentot 07-14-12 06:14 AM

http://i.imgur.com/tJlx6.jpg
My glorious quest for new pants takes me to all four corners of the world, until finally I arrive to another talking statue and tell it what its colleague did to me.

It tells me I should have a talk with this guy nearby, who is using some Ogres or something as slaves and convince him to set them free. Typical. It's an almighty god-like entity, and it still needs me to do its dirty work.


http://i.imgur.com/QAxf7.jpg
The dude I'm supposed to convince is not convinced at all. In fact, he has convinced me that Ogre slave labor is the way to save us from depression.


http://i.imgur.com/ZtIIO.jpg
But me getting new pants is more important than solving the global economical problems, so I decide to have a chat with his employees instead about releasing the Ogres.


http://i.imgur.com/jU1EH.jpg
The Ogres themselves make some very convincing arguments about their poor working conditions, and the guards as fellow proletarians quickly join their cause. Well, the ones that are left anyway.


http://i.imgur.com/V5L9X.jpg
Even the owner of the Ogres is now willing to renegotiate the details of their contract.


http://i.imgur.com/QPNvI.jpg
And this talky statue is happy again.


http://i.imgur.com/6QoyL.jpg
So am I. One of the guards of those Ogres gave me new pants. Or at least didn't complain about me taking them after the Ogres had smashed his head into paste. Back to adventuring!


http://i.imgur.com/VGDJS.jpg
Hmm, this is what I like in travelling. New and exciting cities!


http://i.imgur.com/YoWYK.jpg
Culture!


http://i.imgur.com/1wlob.jpg
Cheerful locals!


http://i.imgur.com/vLxVh.jpg
Pubs I haven't been banned from yet!

Hottentot 07-15-12 03:28 AM

http://i.imgur.com/aCDHQ.jpg
Maaaan, yeah! I just love culture! Just as I'm admiring the architechture of this church from behind...


http://i.imgur.com/x5s5j.jpg
A tiny man with huge ears approaches me. I know what that is! I've seen them before! A tooth fairy!


http://i.imgur.com/jC6Bb.jpg
I think it's the Swedes. They always bribe the hockey judges.


http://i.imgur.com/R1qBE.jpg
Gold! Yes!! It really is the Tooth Fairy!! I knew it existed all along!!


http://i.imgur.com/Ud8VU.jpg
Truth be told, I'm sure it asked me to do something, but I somewhat lost my concentration after the "I pay you" part. So in the morning I decide to follow my motto, as to not disappoint the kind fairy: when in doubt, drink booze.


http://i.imgur.com/g1pS5.jpg
So I spend another culture filled day hoping the Tooth Fairy would come to me again...


http://i.imgur.com/PFyKo.jpg
And of course it does. It asks some silly questions and since I have no idea, I just nod and smile.


http://i.imgur.com/eA9d8.jpg
That seems to make the fairy happy and it promises me some more gold. Yay!


http://i.imgur.com/jQ92T.jpg
It's the beest...tooth fairy...ever!


http://i.imgur.com/KXAoL.jpg
I'm not sure what it asked me to do again, but I think it said: "Go sleep in grape vats and wait for further instructions."


http://i.imgur.com/ybOjZ.jpg
The pigs don't find my excuse believable so I also get to know the back alleys of this city quite well on this day.


http://i.imgur.com/uBeya.jpg
Since the haven't found me boozing behind this church for the last two nights, I'm sure they won't find me here now either.

Which reminds me...

Hottentot 07-15-12 03:31 AM

http://i.imgur.com/vMt4g.jpg
Urg...whuh? How looong did I...er, sleep? Yeaah, that's it...sleeep? Riiight...

Heeey, it's my frieeeend... the Tooth Fairy again! Hooray! I love the Tooth Fairy! I love everyone!


http://i.imgur.com/9xKRd.jpg
No idea what the fairy asked, so again I just nod and smile and it pays me! Yaay! Thank you, Tooth Fairy! But this time Lalli is good boy and listens to friend Tooth Fairy. Tooth Fairy says I should spy...


http://i.imgur.com/6Ybub.jpg
The local wine brewers! Yippee! Tooth Fairy really knows all the best stuff!

So I spend a day behind this rock, carefully watching them...


http://i.imgur.com/ZEIpx.jpg
...When I'm not assessing the quality of their products, that is...


http://i.imgur.com/z0cRz.jpg
Wow, how the time flies when you are having fun. Before I even notice it, the Tooth Fairy wakes me up again to ask funny questions. But I know how to answer this time!


http://i.imgur.com/ey56i.jpg
Yep, nodding and smiling did the trick again. More gold for Lalli! Lalli is good boy!


http://i.imgur.com/7JT5t.jpg
And not just gold, but the Tooth Fairy also gives me this paper saying what I should do. Now I'm a little insulted. Does the Tooth Fairy suspect I don't remember otherwise?


http://i.imgur.com/F8uPE.jpg
Anyway, I make a few visits to some locals.


http://i.imgur.com/4XJEu.jpg
And the Tooth Fairy again rewards me generously. We laugh together until the Tooth Fairy walks away never to be seen again. Bye, Tooth Fairy! I love you! I love...

I love...I...I...wow...


http://i.imgur.com/TsdA0.jpg
My [beeb] head. How long have I been drinking? Three days and nights or what? I wonder if I have again done something embarrassing while drunk?


http://i.imgur.com/7Up1p.jpg
Well, when in doubt...

Biggles 07-15-12 08:36 AM

Quote:

I think it's the Swedes. They always bribe the hockey judges.

:timeout:

Why would we do that?

We don't need to, we win anyway! :haha:

Hottentot 07-15-12 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biggles (Post 1909820)
We don't need to, we win anyway! :haha:

Just you wait until...er...until...uh...

(2011 - 1995...er, I add that, then divide this with it...)

Give me a moment OK!

(2000 minus 1000 times the square root...syntax error? Um...)

2027! We'll show you then!

- - - -

In addition to banter: Imgur ate my recently uploaded images again and I have no idea when I'm going to have them back. So no promises about tomorrow's update or the imminent future.


Hottentot 07-16-12 07:06 AM

http://i.imgur.com/lWZLq.jpg
Err...my head hurts...and my mouth tastes...salty?


http://i.imgur.com/Ynpkm.jpg
Whuh?! Bleergh! What have I done?! And more importantly, why am I getting paid for it?!


http://i.imgur.com/udvBT.jpg
No I'm not! Whatever happened last night was strictly buddy-like and you can't prove otherwise!


http://i.imgur.com/FfEYt.jpg
Must regain masculinity! Must kill many pencil necks! Skirts be darned!


http://i.imgur.com/Sfyma.jpg
What the [beeeeeb] is that?!


http://i.imgur.com/2pimE.jpg
Whatever it is, it's no pencil neck. I need to try new fighting tactics. I saw this being used in one old film so here goes nothing!


http://i.imgur.com/2U6uV.jpg
Stop swinging that axe around! Do you have any idea how straining it's for muscles?! My neck muscles, especially!


http://i.imgur.com/PyVGU.jpg
Let me ouuuut!


http://i.imgur.com/uNtoV.jpg
If I survive this, I'll find the guy who designed the invisible walls around here and have a chat with him!


http://i.imgur.com/kUny1.jpg
Huff! Puff! Must...keep...running...he...is...

Where, actually? I can't help noticing my neck sweating when the swinging axe isn't creating refreshing breezes.


http://i.imgur.com/PzWa3.jpg
Hm? I suppose he had a cardiac arrest. Come to think of it, this happened in the film too. Who says the TV makes you dumber?


http://i.imgur.com/5tOg9.jpg
The rack apparently saw my match, which doesn't improve my mood at all.


http://i.imgur.com/6ylUo.jpg
Look, just because I'm wearing a skirt doesn't mean you can laugh at my face and then ignore me.


http://i.imgur.com/21FlO.jpg
Nor does it give this guy a right to make shady suggestions all the time. I swear, if he uses this whole gladiator theme as an exuse for telling me to strip down to my undies and start oiling my muscles, I'm out of here for good!


http://i.imgur.com/RcZXv.jpg
Since everyone is laughing at me, I'll go beat up some pencil necks again. At least my mace understand my deepest feelings if no one else doesn't.

Hottentot 07-16-12 07:07 AM

http://i.imgur.com/JgS68.jpg
Ooo, OK, now we're talking! That's OK, I don't mind if you want to do it in public.


http://i.imgur.com/XPkSA.jpg
To hasten the important process of me getting laid with hottie rack, I challenge these three idiots for a pencil neck beating match all at once. That should show her how great endurance I have!


http://i.imgur.com/cOFGn.jpg
Then this cat dude learns that those big claws and teeth are no good if you don't have the reach as well.


http://i.imgur.com/siDGE.jpg
Yeah! I'm the hero! I showed them all! Even the blackie isn't mocking me anymore! Eat your heart out Russell Crowe!


http://i.imgur.com/vcsFz.jpg
So? How about it, huh? Huh?! I'm the hero now! Hero always gets the dame, huh? Huh?!


http://i.imgur.com/pNQ9M.jpg
Yeah, exactly! "Going through you" is what I've been about all the time. So what are we waiting for?


http://i.imgur.com/cYJWm.jpg
Finally. The moment of truth. The big moment of my life.


http://i.imgur.com/68Vpj.jpg
This arena has seen me facing off with many pencil necks, but these encounters pale compared to the epic adventure I'm about to start now.


http://i.imgur.com/UAuRm.jpg
She has brought some friends to share the fun. I'm a little disappointed that one of them is a man, but I suppose it's fair for the ladies in the audience.


Whereas with me comes...


http://i.imgur.com/QDNGY.jpg
...Sir Oinksalot?


http://i.imgur.com/ylxiN.jpg
Whatever! Let's get started! I'm not sure when these stupid rules finally let us take these idiotic skirts off, but I'll play along until that. No skirt is going to stop me after all I have done for this very moment!


http://i.imgur.com/Lf1C0.jpg
Hey, look sister, just because I accidentally killed both of your buddies and the pig is no reason to give me looks like that. You're here for me anyway, aren't you?


http://i.imgur.com/RjqcG.jpg
Hey? What's the matter? Are we going to have horizontal mambo or not?


http://i.imgur.com/B871q.jpg
[Beeb] foreigners and their [beebbeebbeebetybeeb] frail bodies not used to [beeb] real Northern [beebbeeb] man! That's it! I'm going home to drink beer! Lots of it!

Hottentot 07-17-12 07:12 AM

http://i.imgur.com/28Bj1.jpg
On the way somewhere else the black guy stops me saying there is still one thing I might look into.

Gray Prince? Who the heck is that?


http://i.imgur.com/4VGQq.jpg
This encouraging lady gives me a little more details, but still refuses to tell me who actually is queer enough to have a nickname like that.


http://i.imgur.com/Sd4Tu.jpg
I suspect it's the angsty lifestory dude, but when asked directly, he denies being "Gay Prince".


http://i.imgur.com/L9Gvy.jpg
Apparently I still somehow managed to challenge the Pinky Prince into a fight, because the encouraging hag wants me to choose a theme music for the upcoming match. So I naturally go with...


http://i.imgur.com/c9XU9.jpg
Raargh!


http://i.imgur.com/NtqO5.jpg
However, after listening through my whole Manowar collection, I realized I'm no teenager anymore. So I changed it into something more manly in a strictly masculine and not-queer-way.


http://i.imgur.com/RQG10.jpg
Less talk, more skull bashing! Me and my enemy approach each other with blinding speed...


http://i.imgur.com/LuhHS.jpg
...Get closer and closer...


http://i.imgur.com/vhuE0.jpg
...And stop for a split second to see which of us will bat eyes first just before we...


http://i.imgur.com/qEL3j.jpg
...Start angsting like preschool girls?!


http://i.imgur.com/legsu.jpg
Gah! Must my manly exploits always be upstaged by sudden absurdity when the ladies are watching?! I'll kill that guy extra much just for doing that again!


http://i.imgur.com/CA0tw.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/BodFc.jpg
Stop staring me and die when I hit you!


http://i.imgur.com/mfPYk.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/EmVmL.jpg
Will you (huff)...die before I (puff)...run out of (wheeze)...refreshments or (pant pant pant)...not?


http://i.imgur.com/YKbiN.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/MeIL4.jpg
(Whew) finally (groan)...the victory...is...mine...

Or then he just (huffpuff) fell (wheeze)...a...sleep...


http://i.imgur.com/MEPKr.jpg
Either way! Make room, man!

Hottentot 07-18-12 07:16 AM

http://i.imgur.com/ZAVRP.jpg
Mmh...cold...wet...and round, stony sky...like I've seen this somewhere before...


http://i.imgur.com/mUYxz.jpg
Eh? I suppose one benefit of being in South is waking up under a bridge and not having to hack your ankles out of the frozen water. And the convenient torch light, that helps me find my way out of here without slipping and breaking my neck.

There is some paper in my pocket. I wonder what it says?


http://i.imgur.com/MuDYH.jpg
Well, my doctor did tell me it would be good idea to keep a diary to help the sudden cases of amnesia I tend to suffer from. I suppose this counts. And how easy it is to read in this light.


http://i.imgur.com/pifoZ.jpg
Yep, that torch sure is convenient. I should suggest they get some of these in home too. They'd be huge success in the dark winter days!


http://i.imgur.com/b2vOc.jpg
I mean, if it wasn't following me around, I could slip on this bridge and...

Wait a second?


http://i.imgur.com/8cPQA.jpg
Who the [beeb] is that?


http://i.imgur.com/dIvix.jpg
Oooookay, this is a little too creepy even for yours truly.


http://i.imgur.com/MyHLw.jpg
I think that boy needs to be reminded of how soft his skull is.


http://i.imgur.com/Wuvzi.jpg
Ha, look at him run away! And I barely even touched him!


http://i.imgur.com/DcR2Y.jpg
Huff! I need something stiff after that shock. I think I'll go find a local pub somewhere in here.


http://i.imgur.com/pD78q.jpg
Or then not. I barely have enough privacy to put my clothes back on before this dolt is tailing me again. And that expression on his face doesn't make me feel any better.


http://i.imgur.com/4oyCz.jpg
Since he seems dumb, I tell him to wait while I take a leak in the forest. Then I hide in these bushes and wait. With any luck, some random monster will soon enough wander here and eat him.


http://i.imgur.com/dItlA.jpg
Ha, sure enough! I bet that torch doesn't feel such a great idea now, does it!


http://i.imgur.com/lLPPw.jpg
So, as I was saying: booze.

Hottentot 07-19-12 07:07 AM

http://i.imgur.com/voUzX.jpg
Hello. This is Humphrey the Hamster. I interrupt your regular broadcast to inform you that today is time for another miserable mini-update, because that dolt Hottentot can't do math and messed up the sequence yesterday. I have made him write 1,000 times: "I will learn to count 1 + 1", but honestly don't expect him to have mental acuity for it. In any case, I hope the knowledge of the incredible pain suffered by Hottentot's wrist brings you some satisfaction. I will personally make sure that tomorrow's update will be extra long to make it up for you.

Sincerely:
Humphrey H. Hamster, Super Genius.

Regular broadcast continues in
3...(The hamster is your friend, citizen)
2...(You will feed the hamster, citizen)
1...(Obey!)

- - - - - - - - - - -

http://i.imgur.com/DUBsV.jpg
"Inn of Ill Omen", huh? Well, I just got rid of mine, so I'm confident nothing can ruin my night in this fine establishment. In we go!


http://i.imgur.com/3dP9N.jpg
See? Nothing wroong heere! I can get druuunk like aaalways! Cheersh!!


http://i.imgur.com/Ywf4I.jpg
Whee, fireplace!! I love fireplaces!! Must get close to fireplace!


http://i.imgur.com/0eB8B.jpg
Hmmmm, waaaaaaarm...


http://i.imgur.com/QVW5C.jpg
Closeeeeeer...


http://i.imgur.com/p0fXV.jpg
Ow [beeb, beebebeebebeeeeeeeeeb]!!!!!


http://i.imgur.com/E6pMq.jpg
Heelp! I'm on fiiiire!! In no good waaay!! Water!!!


http://i.imgur.com/qx0T9.jpg
Aaaaaahh...


http://i.imgur.com/oE4Qw.jpg
Fire bad! I need some magic sleep to recover my hitpoi...health! To recover my health!


http://i.imgur.com/un64T.jpg
Eeerr? Did he say "Up" or "Down"? Stupid foreigners and their stupid accents!


http://i.imgur.com/WeEQ6.jpg
I think it was down. Those stairs look slippery...


http://i.imgur.com/lQpVV.jpg
Hurr, looks cozy. Except...


http://i.imgur.com/HTGxa.jpg
There is some codger sleeping in my bed!


http://i.imgur.com/2KHF3.jpg
Blahblahblah, not interested in your excuses! My bed! Not yours!


[WHACK!]


http://i.imgur.com/G4x1O.jpg
Nighty night!


http://i.imgur.com/LPkxV.jpg
After a well slept night, I'm leaving before that body starts to stink. Time to find...


http://i.imgur.com/5meJc.jpg
Why, another fine cultural establishment to suit my refined tastes of course.

Hottentot 07-20-12 07:51 AM

http://i.imgur.com/Znw8m.jpg
While I'm getting familiar with the local cultural nuances, this fancy pants disturbs my learning experience by trying to sell me some useless junk. Damn it, man, I left my telephone home just because of this!

Usually I wouldn't buy chocolate pudding from a man wearing clothes like that...


http://i.imgur.com/4LCvE.jpg
But since it was so cheap, how could I refuse?


http://i.imgur.com/y27Od.jpg
Err, a little gray for my tastes. Maybe I could paint it?


http://i.imgur.com/ocqlx.jpg
The interiors take some work too, it seems. I'd hire talkoo aid, but prefer to drink all the beer myself. Besides, I'm a real man, so I know how to use a hammer for something else than bashing someone's skull in. A little at least.


http://i.imgur.com/P7oqM.jpg
But before I start renovating, I'm going to take a good nap. Can't start hammering when my head still spins from learning too much at once...


http://i.imgur.com/Jg0zF.jpg
[Snooore]...Whuh? Hey! Who invited those guys in?!


http://i.imgur.com/YV5RI.jpg
That cheating rat who sold me this shack never said anything about additional tenants. Or how they'd leave their hands lying around my property!


http://i.imgur.com/bUqwn.jpg
Not to mention their stupid diaries! That does it!


http://i.imgur.com/TOyuS.jpg
I'm going to complain and demand half of my money back!


http://i.imgur.com/0TK9K.jpg
Oh typical! Just like that guy I bought my last horse from: as soon as I check its legs and teeth, the dude vanishes like a fart into the Sahara desert!


http://i.imgur.com/sDGlN.jpg
Imperial City, huh? If he thinks he can fool me by hiding in a huge city, he is utterly wrong. I just have to think...


http://i.imgur.com/V3jAM.jpg
...if I was new in town, where would I go first?

Hottentot 07-20-12 07:53 AM

http://i.imgur.com/kjjeZ.jpg
Bingo! Well, after ten taverns and one furniture shop later, but anyway...

He of course has an explanation for everything...


http://i.imgur.com/gr0fn.jpg
But after I grab his neck and walk him back to the house he sold me, he agrees to come inside to see for himself how bad shape it's in.


http://i.imgur.com/hnpvc.jpg
So I show him the ugly living room.


http://i.imgur.com/P0gJ4.jpg
The annoying tenants that have already come back.


http://i.imgur.com/p6NLx.jpg
As well as this stupid goo they leave all around the place.


http://i.imgur.com/5lNRX.jpg
The fancy pants tries to convince me of the great shape of the wine cellar. I'm insulted! Does he think I can be bribed with booze?!


http://i.imgur.com/F4yBn.jpg
On the top of everything else, some local teenagers have already ruined my walls! Based on all this, I want at least 75 % refund. In money or in intestines.


http://i.imgur.com/MQaLt.jpg
The fancy can't be blamed for not trying. Before I can even demand anything, he is already trying to show me how easy this stupid tag is to clean away.


http://i.imgur.com/ufGY3.jpg
Well great! Now he broke my wall while demonstrating!


http://i.imgur.com/mlw6e.jpg
And there he already runs away, realizing it's not wise to ruin my property.


http://i.imgur.com/BVYrB.jpg
[Grumble grumble grumble], you just can't trust anyone these days. What is this place anyway? A glorified bomb shelter?


http://i.imgur.com/sMKKy.jpg
No, it turns out to be a junk storage room, where the fancy pants has stored his old coloring books...


http://i.imgur.com/2edzY.jpg
Then there is this very uncomfortable looking bed...


http://i.imgur.com/ngpXQ.jpg
As well as its owner. He seems to be missing a bodypart here, so maybe I could give him a hand?


http://i.imgur.com/8TEXC.jpg
Whuh? I never imagined giving an old skeleton his right hand back could make him so happy. I mean, it's not like he wasn't still missing something essential to use it with...


http://i.imgur.com/CWR4r.jpg
As he realizes it, he tries to take mine. So I have no choice but to whack him dead again.


http://i.imgur.com/NjgJ5.jpg
The fancy pants is now very sorry for all the trouble he has caused and promises to hire me some prefessional renovation help for my new house. In return I promise not to bash him.


http://i.imgur.com/V81hf.jpg
Hmm, they did pretty good work. Not as good I would have gotten if I had hired some privateer to do the job, but decent nevertheless. And best of all, they didn't take their wages from my booze.


http://i.imgur.com/RLLOT.jpg
I'll drink to that!


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