Here's why crew interaction won't work. (Cut me some slack I'm leading up to something;)) We aren't US Navy enlisted men. First of all our vocabularies of profanity aren't large enough to get anybody to listen to us. If we showed up on a submarine, we'd pop out a "What a great submarine, nice to be aboard!" And they, not hearing one @#%%^ or @#$@# or @#$@##$^ in the whole sentence would just assume you were an idiot or a civilian (they are synonymous most of the time), chuck you overboard into the drink and then report you AWOL.
EVERYTHING we think goes on aboard a submarine is wrong. We wouldn't know an honest submarine conversation if it was dropped on top of us when we opened the conning tower hatch. If we DID encounter an honest submarine conversation, we wouldn't have the sense to believe it.
Tell you what. I have a reading assignment for you. Now, realize that this thing is long. It has something like 200 stories, but you'll never know that. One of three things will happen. You'll be in the hospital in traction with broken ribs from laughing too hard and we won't see you for several weeks here.
Or you corporate types will be horrified that such a bunch of idiots could possibly be part of something as serious as the US Military, and then if you're bright you'll realize you don't know squat about really managing. You'll also be missing for several weeks as you learn your job.
And then there's the misfits around here who will read the first article and realize they aren't a misfit after all. Yes, you're a rank amateur, but you are the raw material from which our submarine force created the greatest fighting men in the history of the world. You won't be back until you read the very last story.
Any way you cut it, I'm sending you on a one-way trip, at least for awhile. Just the titles will hit your laugh button, like "Telling Time by Progressive Putrification." If you come back you'll find my writing as boring as reading the back of a box of tampons, but that's a small price to pay for excellence, isn't it? So take a trip to the real world of tuna can boats and find out what was really going on in boat conversations. Then think: do I want my son or daughter exposed to that crap?:rotfl:
Introducing Bob "Dex" Armstrong, a crude, authentic After Battery Rat: a genius who uses the english language as a weapon to tear apart all notions of what you think went on aboard American diesel boats, and who will exercise your laughing muscles to the breaking point.
Welcome to the After Battery.
Warning: this is definitely mature material.