Letum, I know what you mean. My experience isn't as... metaphysical as the other posters, but here goes.
I am very careful and stingy about which charities I donate money to. After I read somewhere about aid money in a generic poor African country being used to buy golden toilets and a new Benz fleet for the token dictator, I became highly suspicious of charities and money. You will never get a receipt telling you what your money is spent on and who it eventually makes its way to. It may sound crazy, but I am not yet convinced that the money I give to UNICEF or whatever isn't going to be used to buy a child soldier an AK-47 someday.
What I am pleased to do instead is donate material goods. Food, bottled water, books, clothes, etc. Of course if you are really serious about saving lives then the ultimate charity to pursue is your local blood collection service. I don't mind also volunteering my own time to help out with charities. I just rarely, if ever, give money.
Doing these above things is a good experience. You may feel callas for not giving money, I feel like an ass for sitting around all day and playing video games as the world passes me by. Getting up and actually using your hands to make a difference lets you see the smiles on the faces of the people you are helping. Your contributions do not seem wasted after this.
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