Granted, but they eventually engage in a huge conflict over the similarity of their names.

I wish that Kaiser Wilhelm II did not have a withered arm.

Granted, something much nearer his groin is withered instead.

I wish it never happens to you.

Granted, it happens to you instead

I wish it wasn't so late

Granted; it's early for me.

I wish that I could go to the year 4338.

Granted, but via immediate time warp to future. When you reach 4338 earth isn't here anymore and you find yourself in the vaccuum of space. Various minor problems start after ten seconds or so. At some point you lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. Injuries accumulate. After perhaps one or two minutes, you're dying. Have fun.

I wish had a monkey

Granted, your wish has a monkey, it's name is Charles

I wish his wish made some wishful sense

Granted, wishful nonsense.

I wish I had a new set of sluitels.

Granted, but the wish fairy thought you said "slut tells" and the biatch across the desk tells everyone that you are engaged to her causing you irreparable embarrassment

I wish I hadn't sneezed during TarJak's operation

you bastage...I was typing out a killer crush for that wish...


Not granted...dayamit and now your left nut is doing a hoola-hoop through the hole you just rip in your...well you know where.

I wish I hadn't had to type all the crap to crush Jimbo's wish before DT jumped in and did It for me...thus getting a mildly mediocre crush of someone elses dream


KD

Granted, now you had to write it all down, with a medieval-style stylus

I wish violence hadn't ensued before I got the popcorn ready

Granted, Just as you sit down with your hot popcorn 20, no wait, FIFTY midgets dressed in clown outfits burst out of your closet, beat you senseless and steal your popcorn.

I wish I had a monkey named Raptor1 instead Charles

Granted you wish you had a monkey named Raptor1 instead Charles but the new monkey named Raptor1 does the same tricks as Charles did...when your bending over drying your feet fresh from the shower Rator1 runs up your poop shoot and starts bobbing for apples from last nights festivities...you have to go to ER to get him out.


I wish monkeys wern't so anal retentive...

KD

They aren't...that is why you have to keep eating those 'little white pills' to keep from defacating all over the house they let you stay in.

I wish that BFB of JB's would turn into a Beautiful PG (NO, it doesn't stand for pregnant either.)

Granted you wish that BFB of JB's would turn into a Beautiful PG (NO, it doesn't stand for pregnant either.) but she is now a PlayGirl....everyone is in line...2 take a turn...



I wish I could go last...I don't want anyone to tap me on the shoulder...

KD

Granted, but your kid gives the monkey a candy bar and a Dr Pepper. The monkey winds up shi**ing all over the place making your wife so mad and informing you that she doesn't feel like making love anymore till you get rid of the monkey and buy her a new BMW.

I wish I had a new BMW ... What's your wife's name anyway? :p