Granted, but the salt has been mined with 300 kilograms of TNT by the counter-revolutionary vegetarian conspiracy and the whole complex comes crashing down

I wish I was well clear of the blast area and the wave of panicked civilians

You are, you are standing in the middle of Mars without a spacesuit and therefore your blood freezes but you are still well clear of the blast...

I wish I got paid in gold...

Granted, all the gold chocolate coins are yours.

I wish my toffee hammer was edible.

Granted, but you now have a severe pain in your stomach as you try to digest both the toffee and the hammer

I wish for another

granted, but it gets lodged in your throught and you choke to death.

I wish for something that i dont know now so I cant wish it so id know,and would no longer know so I dont have to think about what I wisk i knew.:p (lots of words.... I know.):rotfl:

Granted, you get something that you dont know now so you cant wish it so you'd know,and would no longer know so you dont have to think about what you wisk you knew, but what you get is a pink tu-tu and a trip to the ballet school

I wish I had a camera for the ballet lesson

Granted, ill take the pictures your do the danceing.:lol: better you than me.lol

I wish it was a excivator ballet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYzAJviXr0Y

Granted, but someone behind you has a movie camera and you are uncovered as the neighbourhood pervert everyone has been looking for since two years back.

I wish for the movie in 3D.

Granted, you get the movie in 3D, but the 3 Ds are Dumb, Dumber and Even Dumber (which is the sequel to Dumb and Dumber) and it's even dumber than the first one

I wish for a fortified bagel with lochs and cream cheese and a moat around it with razor wire around that and .50 cal machine gun nests and an anti-missile system so no one else could get it

Granted, but you build it on the edge of the Lake and when the earthquake comes...you guessed it, it falls down into the water and impales the ancient Loch Ness monster and ending the legend, driving the citizens mad whereby they give you a one time good deal by showing you just how the ancient tradition of 'draw and quarter' really works first hand.

I wish the dogs did not have fleas.

Granted, they have miniature T-72 tanks instead

I wish I knew if there was something wrong with our bloody ships today

Granted, you now know there is is something wrong with our bloody ships today. 5 seconds later you forgo what it was.

I wish I had a magic lamp with a genie in it. Specifically THIS one.

http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/i-dream...annie-0499.jpg

Granted, but your mom takes the day off because she is unwell and I appear in her place.

http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/2...e9hyoj8gx1.gif

I wish talk was cheap.

Granted, but doomsayers soon lead the public to believe that talk is running out, spreading panic and causing it to become a valuable commodity

I wish I could make a ton of money off this new talk thing

Granted. You are reincarnated as Oprah.

I wish I had MY genie back, not the one with old man balls.