Dad?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Granted, your son moves out, and then back again 3 days later when he discovers that it's a cruel cruel world out there (and stuff costs a lot, too)

I wish it wasn't a cruel cruel world and stuff didn't cost a lot and that the voices would quit telling me to clean the guns

Granted, it is a nice world, where ammunition does not cost much, and the voices tell you to use the guns instead of cleaning them

I wish the voices were as nice to me as they are to DT

After DT blows out your eardrums cleaning his guns, the voices are nice and quiet.

I wish my children would forget where I live...

Granted, you're children have forgotten where you live. However, they haven't forgotten you credit card numbers or bank accounts and go on a wild spending spree, and buy new homes for themselves.

I wish children were born with their parents memories and experiences, so they wouldn't have to make all the same mistakes we did.

Granted children are born with their parents memories and experiences, so now they don't have to make all the same mistakes we did. Which means they don't copulate...and you were never born thus your post never counts...

I wish grilled cheese sandwiches already came premaid and all you had to do was heat em up...


KD

Granted, but now they taste as bad as everything else that is pre-maide and re-heated.

I wish I was having roast pork with all the trimmings tonight for dinner

Granted, but your wife becomes very annoyed when she realises what 'trimmings' you were referring to.

I wish for more groundbreaking rules.

Granted, but you have to pay to fix the ground

I wish Pizza was the answer to all the world's problems

Granted, it is; except for the obesity epedemic.

I wish for a safe journey

Granted, but you forgot to take the key....and the safe is airtight.

I wish google was my company.

Granted, but is and you are now in deep trouble as they charge you with insider trading and you get to go to San Quentin for 2 consecutive life sentences plus 99 years without possibility of parole.

I wish I had gotten the day off.

Granted you wish in one hand for the day off and you crap in the other...just to see which one fills the fastest...

I wish I could get a perfect week on fantasy football daymit...

KD

Granted! Your India football league players score 1: nil

I wish you found the SS FF thread, like 4 months ago!:x

Granted, but since he did no-one else wants to play

I wish I knew how to enunciate lucidity into your daily lives