Granted, Raptor1 kapishes, but since he now kapishes he has the knowledge necessary to attain a tactical overthrow of TarJakistan and you are enslaved in a moldy, dingy, dusty dungeon, shackled to the ceiling hanging inches off of the floor covered with mangy rodents intent on nibbling your toes off

I wish I could make money crushing wishes

Granted. You are now compensated $15.50 for each wish crushed. The new wish crusher tax, combined with the share the wealth tax, costs you $17.44. You lose $1.94 for every wish you crush.

I wish I didn't have to pay taxes.

Granted, you now live in a uninhabited ('cept for you) South Pacific Island where the Tax people will never find you

I wish I knew why I had to overthrow TarJak's government (He's supposed to be my ally...)

Granted, you don't pay any taxes but are banged up In DT's dungeon for tax avoidance.

I wish it was 5 o'clock somewhere.

@Raptor1 Granted, You now understand that it was part of a counter-revolutionary plot to overthrow the leadership of Raptorland

@Tango589 Granted, it is but never where you are

I wish strategies would write themselves

Granted, but those strategies send copies to the enemy

I wish strategies weren't so trecherous

Granted, they are now simply...devious.

I wish the prognosis was a diagnosis.

Granted, the prognosis is now a diagnosis, but since "pro" and "dia" are now interchanged, the biatch across the desk from you doesn't know what a prophram is and become pregnant with octuplets which she has to bring to work with her due to lack of a nanny, causing you to spend your days smelling stinky propers on your desk

I wish this guy would quit holding his breath:nope:

He stops, and exhales a poopy diaper right into your face.

I wish I weren't so nasty at times...

Granty, now you are 'so' stupid. :lol:

I wish I knew what I was thinking.

Granted, Now that you know you realise that you weren't thinking anything at all and go back to sleep

I wish Jim would wake up

Granted Jim wakes up...but only after four hours of you spooning him...you cant move your arm because it is alseep. Now you are wishing your arm wasn't asleep.

I wish that picture of you two spooning wasn't in my head...:stare:

KD

Granted, it is now in your pc as a wallpaper.

I wish TJ was with me the other evening in Manchester when I was watching England beat Australia in the final of the Hong Kong Cricket Sixes final on Sky Sports.

Granted, you both weren't watching the sports...

I wish I had a faster computer.

Granted your computer is now so fast you cannot keep up with it and it runs away...

I wish my son would move out soon...