Granted, but Norris loses his left testicle, creating a new planet 3 times the size of Jupiter.

I wish that I was magic.

Granted. You're now a geeky kid with a scar on his forehead who is mercilessly pursued by a quasi-immortal, megalomaniacal dark wizard bent on your utter destruction.

I wish I had 5 quarts of chocolate pudding. *DROOL*

Granted, you have five quarts of chocolate pudding drool, although I have no idea what you'd want with five quarts of drool caused by staring at chocolate pudding

I wish I could do this:rotfl: without hurting myself

Granted, now you started and cant stop.

I wish for Digital Trucker`s wishes would turn to fishes.

Granted, his wishes are fishes and you get to do the dishes

I wish rhyming wishes were worth extra points

Granted, there are extra points for them but since your rhyme sucks hard you get -1 point.

I wish neat "wish crushing" was worth extra points.

It was until two days ago so you just missed out.

I wish it weren't so dark outside this morning as I get ready for work...

Granted, it is now incredibly bright as the police searchlights illuminate the place searching for...YOU!

I wish the police wouldn't find you

Granted, they don't find you but they find him instead.

I wish I knew who the suprise was for.

Granted, you now know who the surprise is for, but forget what the surprise is and it really bothers you because you now know that the surprise if for you and it drives you bonkers enough that you start singing "They're coming to take me away, haha" incessantly for the remainder of your life

I wish my fishes would become wishes

Granted, but they're all crushed.

I wish for money.

Granted, it's inside an Indiana Jones-type temple filled with traps and suprises.
Now go get it!

I wish I had Indiana Jones' job...

Granted. You now have the job that Indiana Subman1 Jones does in the uS, you clean portable bathrooms witha fish net and a spoon.

I wish there was no more spam.

Granted, there is no more spam, there is now only spamaghetti (Italian spam) and your inbox is totally slammed with it

I wish MothBalls had some spamaghetti sauce to go with his inbox

Granted, but he sets up an auto reroute and deletion of the spamaghetti and sends it all to you

I wish Spamalot was about junk e-mail