Granted, that something has been thoroughly crushed

I wish I wished more wishes

Granted, but none of them come true.

I wish I had another weeks leave to take.

Granted, you took someone else's leave and he's not happy

I wish Jimbuna's hospital bill wasn't so high

Granted, Jimbunas hospital bill isn't so high anymore, it has been paid by the biatch across the desk from him and she is expecting to be paid back in trade

I wish the UFOs would come take us all away to someplace nice (someplace that's not Uranus)

Granted, they do...to planet Utopia, which has an aptmosphere of methane gas...and you can guess what happens when we step out into it.

I wish I wish I wish I wish...

That I could kiss jimbunas bitch.

I wish I could take pictures of the event.

Granted, you took those pictures but the film exploded.

I wish Jimbuna had a digital camera.

Granted, he does and take photos of you and your mistress and blackmails you by threatening to send them to your wife.

I wish life was less complicated

It is - you are born, you pay taxes, you die.

I wish I were more than 2 meters away from JB...

Granted you are now 3 metres away but still within touching and smelling distance of the bitch that sits opposite him at work.

I wish I could swap places with Freddie the Frog.

Granted, Freddie the Frog has just gotten a job as a sewage tunnel inspector

I wish I had the ability to fix the world financial crisis

Granted, but no one every asks you how, so it just goes on!

I wish I could start my new job as a train driver next week!

Granted, but it's a steam train, so people will continue to say "he always left the station with a puff".

I wish my engine was a diesel or an electric.

Granted, it's an electric, but you have no diesel to charge it

I wish I didn't get bogged in the mud on the Western Front

Granted, you don't get bogged in the mud on the Western Front, you get bogged in the quicksand instead

I wish pie charts tasted better