Granted but then you have to wish for 10 thousand other holidays and events as well.

I wish I was a fish.

Granted! Unfortunately you find yourself being served "blackened" with a side of cajun spiced rice in a New Orleans 4 star restaurant.

I wish the laws of physics could be altered at will...

Granted, but I'm the one with the power and not you. I spend the rest of my life bragging about this fact on your front lawn.

I wish my house mates girlfriend wasn't such a whinning mole.

Granted. She becomes a bitchy and slutty mole.:rotfl: MERRY F&%$in' CHRISTMAS!!


I wish I had a billion dollars, the continent of Europe, a thousand nukes, a full army equal to China's, and a blitzkrieg army dwarfing Hitler's in professionalism and advancement in technology.

Granted but I own the rest of the world with an army dwarfing all the modern armies put together (which is much better than yours). We soon go to war only to leave the planet a smoking ruin. As you emerge from your radiation bunker and you realise that you focussed on your military and not caring about diplomatic relations which in turn caused you to lose everything you ever gained by ruling Europe.

Good one SH.

I wish I was fishing.

Granted. You catch a shark and it drags you into the ocean. Your arm gets twisted in the wire and it drags you deeper and deeper. Your lungs start to hurt as do your eardrums. As you go deeper, you begin to slowly drown. Eventually, you perish, and your body floats down and rests 250 feet below the surface.



I wish I owned the galaxy with an iron fist.

Granted, but just like a certain Darth Vader before you....you did not take a certain young guy called Luke Skywalker seriously. His rebellion against your tyranny is successful and you are destroyed.

I wish my dog could exercise itself without the need for me to have to go with it.

Granted but he will become a superdog and always will have to save the UK from trouble and will be country famous and he will recieve no fame.
I wish I had an iPhone.

Granted but you will have to call customer care regarding wrong charges
on your bill (and good luck with that { thats b as in subtle sir ?} )

I wish I had No happiness and a ton of debt and no tax refund due
(now go ahead and screw up my dream)

Granted! (Why crush your dream when it's already miserable enough!)

I wish my wife and I could retire comfortably at our current ages.

Granted: then you both live in each others pockets and get on each others nerves and you wont reach that magical anniversary ..

I wish people would realise that Santa clause is REALLY DEAD :lol:

Granted, but once everyone realises the truth, all the children in the world will be sad and the only happy folk will be those tight folk of mainly Scottish descent.

I wish Santa would bring me a new car.

Granted! http://www.northrim.net/jhouck/images/hot_wheels.jpg

I wish for a Wii for Christmas...

granted, but after a few seconds the wii starts to bore you and you toss it out of the window

i wish i wasnt drunk today

Granted, you were drunk yesterday, so now you have the mother of all headaches!

I wish I wasn't cold.