SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - Animal Film Club:

As we near page 24 and Animal Film Club clings stubbornly to General Topics like some sick overweight cat on a wet lamp-post, you might be wondering whether it's not time to call the vet. But first, let's just look back at a few of the movies that have made us bark, whinney, bray, gag and dribble:

In Classic Drama we saw The Secret Life of Walter Kitty, Oinkle Silas, Porky Park, Citizen Canine and Wuthering Bites. Also The Long Hiss Goodnight, The Grapes Of Sloth, Rhea Window and Dun Coyote; Salmon And Delilah and Goose Who's Coming To Dinner plus the sweeping saga: I, Clawdius.

Fur-rious Action brought us Ben-Fur, Haddock: Missing In Action III, The Red Badger Of Courage, Furry, Away All Goats and Where Beagles Dare. Also, The Cruel Sealion, Das Hoot, Attack On Lemming-grad, and The Canine Mutiny.

We laughed at Gimme Shelti, Prawn Of The Dead, Honey I Blew Up The Bush-Baby, Cloudy With A Chance Of Hairballs, Mice Age and It's A Tad, Tad, Tadpole World.

Western Adventure thrilled with: The Good The Bad And The Pugly, They Died With Their Coots On, A Fistful Of Dogbuiscits, Stageroach, The Hootist and Once Upon A Time In The Nest.

Musicals included Saturday Night Beaver, The Hound Of Music, Whelk The Line and Hairy Poppins.

We shivered while watching the visceral Resident Weevil and Verminator; gasped at Forbitten Planet and The Chronicles Of Ribbit.

Foreign Cinema saw a charming, well I don't quite know what, called Mr Jellyfish And Mr Hare from Denmark, and the challenging German avant-garde made us sit up and scratch our heads with My Hovercraft Is Full Of Eels and The Fair Swordfish Must Have Smelled It.

Adult movies did not make it into these pages owing partly to forum rules, but also since many of the cast, crew and audience will have been forcibly neutered at some time, it did not seem very appropriate.

Other films never quite made it into "the can" (where you're probably thinking most of them belong) because of off-screen mishaps, failing budgies, sorry I mean budgets, etc. For example, Mortal Wombat was almost cancelled owing to an outbreak of fleas among the cast, and lungworm nearly saw the cancellation of Fiddler On The Woof.

Finally let us pay tribute to the stars themselves: names such as Zebra Kerr, Woodchuck Norris and Steven Seagull, who perhaps deserve a nostalgic volume all to themselves (don't worry: not a chance)

So let the madness continue onto page 24 and beyond with:

The Ballad Of Will Blenny