Granted but the chief ingredient in Swiss Cheese is Krupp face-hardened, high-carbon, cemented steel armour plate. And global warming has dried up all the rivers.

I wish that a stich in time did in fact, save nine...

Granted, but it only saves nine cents in monetary terms.

I wish silence was golden.

Granted, and therefore hurts a lot when dropped from a great height

I wish you could drop golden silence

Granted, but then it shatters the outer shell and it turns into green goo.

I wish golden raisins were not silent.

Granted, but that means only you can hear them talk. People see you having hour-long conversations with raisins. They commit you to a mental institution where you spend the rest of your life, heavily sedated (just like the guy who killed John Lennon; he used to perform guitar concerts for "little people" who lived in his walls).

I wish that Lt. Bojangles would fit in with the rest of the company:

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g1...I/pie_face.gif

Granted, now the rest of Lt. Bojangles company starts wearing clown apperal, not good for camoflauge.

I wish steed would get shot through time and space.:D :lol:

Granted, but he causes them to rip apart, thus destroying all that is and ever will be.

I wish that Empire: Total War would come out already.


(That logic is flawed. See, they're gonna be looking for soldiers; they'll NEVER suspect clowns.):yep:

Granted, it is released, but it has more bugs than any other game ever made.

I wish I had one of these:lurk: .:D

Granted, but the pressure hull fails, and you sink to the bottom, trapped and unable to escape. You suffocate a few hours later.

I wish that I had a flying horse.

Granted but it will only fly as far as your patented Horse-Flinger brand Long-Range Trebuchet will throw it, about 250 metres with a tail wind. Landings are tricky too...

I wish Cats could talk.

Granted, but only CATS can

http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com/allyourbase.jpg

I wish speaking like a lolcat was acceptable by society

Granted so now you are a lolcat but unable to type properly on the computer keyboards therefore no one here understands you anymore.

I wish the asteriod would miss us.

Granted, it hits the moon instead, knocking it out of orbit and slamming it into the earth

I wish the moon was made of cheese so we would survive the cataclysm

Granted, however it is made of blue cheese and the stench is getting seriously annoying

I wish colonoscopy's on each and every one of you sans anesthetic

Granted, but a similar fate awaits you in Texas next week whilst your sleeping.

I wish I didn't snore like a pig in the middle of the night keeping everyone I am sharing with awake.