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fill their trousers with
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a very sticky mixture of
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toffees they'd forgotten about,
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over the sands of
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an interminable, soul destroying
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luncheon of spam and
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stale, chewy moon pies.
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squirrel droppings and spam
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fritters, cold toenail soup,
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made by a rather
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disconsolate Scottish cook, resentful
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that his vote won't
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count one monkey's fart
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in a bakewell tart
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with Jim's Scottish oatmeal
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