Granted, you now have a map of the convoluted dream-crushing world we live in, but it is a Google map and, as we all know, Google is the all assimilating king of monopolies and is broken into a gajilliion pieces by the "EU anti-profit commission and swap meet" and your map disintegrates into a gajillion squared pieces

I wish I knew what "I" was doing

Granted but with this knowledge comes the realization that you are nothing but a simple tool of the Greater Google EU Anti-Profiteering and Household Appliance Swap Meet Cabal. You are now tasked to stick forks into toasters and are required to test the temperature in deep-fat fryers with your right hand.

I wish the convoluted dream-crushing world came as a globe.

Granted but you are indiana jones and its rolling down the
spiderweb filled tunnel behind you about to crush you.


I wish I had some popcorn

Granted, but all you get is a bottle of pop and some corns from your grannies feet.

I wish Uranus wasn't so large.

Granted: mines not so large...but if you got yours out of the way..the roses would grow in my garden :p

I wish i more whisky instead of taking damn painkillers?

Granted, but you wind up taking more pain-killers for your liver transplant surgery.

I wish hurricane Ike hit someplace else.:roll:

Granted, it hits Idaho:D Need someone to fill sandbags for you?

I wish The rest of the country didn't take up so much of Texas' territory.

Granted, Texas will now be sold to Mexico so that Texan's need no longer bother sharing the CONUS with the other lower 48.

I wish Alaska had sage brush and cactus.

Granted, but they die in the cold climate

I wish I could stall for time (From a great height, so my plane doesn't crash)

Granted but in order to do it we turn your plane into a high
altitude weather balloon and the only way down is the
same way Joe Kittinger did, of course he had five custom
made chute's good luck son.


I wish to make the golden horde battle parasol's proof
against flaming from re entry skydivers.

Granted, ground all flights, flood the earth and be weary of the skindivers.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work would think about her dandruff problem and start wearing trousers.

Granted the bitch across from you starts wearing trousers thinking of her dandruff problem but she forgets about her yeast infection. Thus late in the afternoon the office smells like bakery, you find yourself getting aroused and think of eating her after you spread butter all over her....

I wish I could smell fresh bread baking...

Granted, but after eating the muffin sitting across from Jimbuna your oral hygiene needs serious attention not to mention the STD now infecting your bloodstream.

I wish distressed timber would settle down and stop being so emotional

Granted. It's now so laid back that it falls over.

I wish it was party time.

Granted, but it's at your house and the drinks are on you.

I wish cannibals were vegetarian.