Granted, but your pressure hull fails, and you sink into the crushing black depths of the Mediterranean Sea.

I wish that I could kill anyone by simply saying their name 3 times consecutively whilst looking at something they own.

Granted, but you practice your newly acquired power using a mirror and suffer the obvious consequences.

I wish poverty was abolished.

Granted, its been abolished to South Shields

I wish South Shields had less poverty than it now does

Granted South Shields had less poverty than it now does because out of the 15,000 homeless, 9500 of them just set up portable tent housing in your yard. You are now known as the "Great Provider".

I wish TJ installs facilities for the homeless...

KD

Granted, but it is for homeless kangaroos.

I wish the cold was warm.

Granted, the cold war just turned very warm, time to greet the nuclear dawn

I wish people would quit calling the psychologist when I warn them about the international communist conspiracy

Granted, people quit calling the psychologist when you warn them about the international communist conspiracy, they now call the psychiatrist who sends the men in the white jackets out after you as you sing "They're coming to take me away, Ha Ha" incessantly

I wish I could get that song out of my head in a painless and non-invasive manner without having to replace it with "We all live in a Yellow Submarine"

Granted, it happens, just as TJ comes along and the song goes into his head but he is drunk and sings it out loud incessantly so that you hear it anyway.

I wish tomorrow were payday.

Granted, but you get paid in buttons.

I wish I was a cannibalistic communist who was leader of the international communist plot

Granted, but it's dinner time and you are on your followers menu.

I wish someone would pass the salt.

Granted, but the salt has been mined with 300 kilograms of TNT by the counter-revolutionary vegetarian conspiracy and the whole complex comes crashing down

I wish I was well clear of the blast area and the wave of panicked civilians

You are, you are standing in the middle of Mars without a spacesuit and therefore your blood freezes but you are still well clear of the blast...

I wish I got paid in gold...

Granted, all the gold chocolate coins are yours.

I wish my toffee hammer was edible.

Granted, but you now have a severe pain in your stomach as you try to digest both the toffee and the hammer

I wish for another

granted, but it gets lodged in your throught and you choke to death.

I wish for something that i dont know now so I cant wish it so id know,and would no longer know so I dont have to think about what I wisk i knew.:p (lots of words.... I know.):rotfl:

Granted, you get something that you dont know now so you cant wish it so you'd know,and would no longer know so you dont have to think about what you wisk you knew, but what you get is a pink tu-tu and a trip to the ballet school

I wish I had a camera for the ballet lesson

Granted, ill take the pictures your do the danceing.:lol: better you than me.lol

I wish it was a excivator ballet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYzAJviXr0Y

Granted, but someone behind you has a movie camera and you are uncovered as the neighbourhood pervert everyone has been looking for since two years back.

I wish for the movie in 3D.

Granted, you get the movie in 3D, but the 3 Ds are Dumb, Dumber and Even Dumber (which is the sequel to Dumb and Dumber) and it's even dumber than the first one

I wish for a fortified bagel with lochs and cream cheese and a moat around it with razor wire around that and .50 cal machine gun nests and an anti-missile system so no one else could get it

Granted, but you build it on the edge of the Lake and when the earthquake comes...you guessed it, it falls down into the water and impales the ancient Loch Ness monster and ending the legend, driving the citizens mad whereby they give you a one time good deal by showing you just how the ancient tradition of 'draw and quarter' really works first hand.

I wish the dogs did not have fleas.