Granted, but you get the job of painting all the dots on the pawns.

I wish cricket was played with a shuttlecock.

Granted, but watching it now goes from merely boring to totally incomprehensible and boring. The end result is that cricket as a sport is to be played only on Hot Ladies Get Naked Day and so nobody will ever view a match again.

I wish Thursday was International Beer Drinking Day.

Granted but it permanently displaces into none existence hot ladies
get naked day as we can only have one per day celebration per day.

I wish he hadnt wished that.

Granted, now you couldn't crush it

I wish I wasn't so booooored

Granted, now your hair is on fire, somebody is shooting at you with a nail gun and rabid gophers are trying to eat your testicles. That should keep you busy for a spell.

I wish International Beer Drinking Day and Hot Ladies Get Naked Day could co-exist peacefully on the same calendar.

Granted but its the Vegan calender and your on earth.

I wish randomizer was bored again gophers are a cruel fate.

Granted, but only in the Spitsbergen calendar

EDIT: Granted, but Randomizer is now subjected to my boring fate

I wish mankind wasn't doomed

Granted mankind isnt totally doomed they could be saved by
your typing speed.

I wish he got this too late.

Granted but mankind is still doomed, only this time we're taking the rest of the Universe with us because it's been a page or two since the last time it was destroyed around here.

I wish that destroying the Universe (yet again) wasn't such an easy Dream Crushing option.

Granted. Now only the most ridiculously convoluted dream-crushes can end the universe.

I wish my cats would come in.

Granted, your cats come in, but they come in to your washing machine and are spin cycled until they go completely spastic and rip your head to shreds when you open the machine

I wish my medication didn't make me goofy(er)

Granted it makes permanently as goofy as you are which in your defence
ends up in a career change that allows you to move to orlando florida
and on a flight to Euro disney as part of an exchange. You tour the
Hadron accellerator where through another accident with a liquid
lunch and a rubber band your face is permanently etched holographically
onto every square inch of the space time continuum causing the
complete fabric of the multiverse and its unknown and unknowable
inhabitant/s to destroy all universes. cha cha cha:|\\

and I wish you all a merry afternoon of destroying the unverse
multiverse or nearest convenient parrallel dimension as part of
the rush to crush.

What are we?!!?!?!?!?

Anywayz

Granted, it now makes you normal(er), and therefore more boring

EDIT: Granted, we will

I wish to slay the blasphemers

Granted your first.


I wish to destroy all potential hiding places for the population
of Raptor land refugees.

Granted, you destroy Mushland, the most obvious hiding place

I wish I had a map of the convoluted dream-crushing world we live in