Granted, but you still don't realise the true meaning of male emancipation.

I wish I knew everything that nobody else knew.

Granted, you now know everything that nobody else knew, which means you know nothing since everything is known by someone and since that means there is nothing that is not known by anyone, then nobody knows nothing, everyone knows something and there is nothing left for you to know

I wish I knew how to masticate correctly

Granted, but you still get hair on your palms and go blind

I wish mastication didn't have the side effect

Granted, mastication doesn't have that effect, it makes your food easier to swallow

I wish I had enunciated masticate more properly

Granted, but he still doesn't understand

I wish I could pronounce Muflumpertranbetrugzer

Granted, but it is when you say it, a bucket of water gets dumped on your head. Turns out that in some languages that means. "Help me Im on fire"

I wish raptor would have not gotten a bucket of water dumped on himself.

Granted, tis a bucket of pi$$ instead.

I wish foolishness was profitable.

Granted, but it causes the complete downfall of the economic system as there are more people profiting than people losing

I wish sense was liquid

Granted, but the constant shifting makes you bi-polar.

I wish that I could create a hit play entitled "The Miraculous Adventures of Black Jesus".

Granted, but you get sued by treehuggers, communists and monks around the world over a controversial scene

I wish I could create a hit play called "The Life and Miserable Death of a Bankrupt Assassin"

Granted, but a stagelight falls during a performance, and sends the entire theatre up in flames. Everyone inside dies, and all the money earned goes up with it.

I wish that Charles Laughton wasn't dead.

Granted, but now the undead Charles is coming to eat your flesh

I wish Stealth Hunter hadn't wished for Charles Laughton to become a zombie

Granted he didn't, it was YOU he wished for to be a zombie.

I wish today didn't come so early in the morning...

Granted, it now comes late in the afternoon.

I wish for spectemur agendo.

Granted the spectemur agendo you are judged by is when you were caught with the billy goats head throught the fence and his back hooves in your boots, although you were only trying to help him get unstuck, when your pants fell down...that is all anyone will remember...you will be noted as Jimbo the Sheep @$%^er ( Herder) from now on...


I wish it wasnt raining....on Jimbo's parade


KD

It isn't...it is hailing on Jimbo's parade and raining on yours along with lightning and 55kt winds...

I wish today didn't include people crushing other people's dreams.

Granted, they now smash them to smithereens instead.

I wish I knew why she sells seashells from the seashore.

Granted, but the knowledge of how she is greedy and wants money turns you into a Socialist

I wish all the damned Commies would die, once more!

Granted, all the damn Commies die once more, but now the CIA, NSA and other, as yet, unknown three letter acronyms for intelligence departments have nothing to do and start spying on you instead, causing it to be discovered that you have 3 rotting corpses in your refrigerator to be used for making the Thanksgiving dinner

I wish I didn't have to eat Thanksgiving dinner now that I found out about Raptor1's cannibalistic tendencies

Granted you don't have to eat Thanksgiving dinner now that you found out about Raptor1's cannibalistic tendencies...but you will be thankfull you didn't read the report where the CIA, NSA and other, as yet, unknown three letter acronyms for intelligence departments that have nothing to do
found in the cavity search...

I wish I could have been across the street, hidden by a cloaking device filming the raid..


KD