Granted but it is eaten by a giant underground dwelling sandworm and you are excreted as a hallucinogenic spice-like dung. You subsequently become the subject of a reasonably good book and totally awful movie.

I wish someone else could lose the war in an afternoon.

Granted you now go by your alter ego labelmaker and lose
again the next afternoon.

I wish to offer Randomizer land and all its armies to ubootecomrade
land as a peace offering.

Granted, but the offer is refused as they have not interest in a flea infested rug from a dog basket.

I wish Randomizer land was bigger than a flea infested dog blanket

Granted, but who cares?

I wish my stupid dogs would shut up.

Granted, it is now large enough to include a pillow so he rest his weary flea infested head.

I wish nothing was painstakingly obvious.

Granted, it's not so painstaikgly obvious that NealT wants his stupid dogs to only shut up and he ends up murdering them instead

I wish to wish a wish that will wish this wish, that is my wish

Request Denied cleverboy heres a rock bass.

I wish all of your wishes will come true for you.

Granted, but they become true for 'me' instead.

I wish the SS Meet to go ahead this year without any flooding damage.

Granted, it goes ahead without flooding damage, it just happens to be near the new Arizona Atlantic coast instead

I wish all your wish are belong to us

Granted, but all the wishes are bad ones and you suffer as a consequence.

I wish temples were places of true and uninhibited friendship.

Granted, your temples on the side of your head have some uninhibited, friendly fleas breeding like the clappers.

I wish Jim would keep his fleas to himself in October

Granted, but his cockroaches...

I wish I could drink...something....that doesn't taste too bad...and isn't harmful to me...

Granted, here is a bottle of raspberry flavoured urine.

I wish I could sleep with my back to the wall in October.

Granted, in your cell after you tried crossing the border from Mexico to Texas (Or...Arizona...)

I wish mankind would invent some kind of newfangled thingamajiger that harnessed the wind's energy with big windmill-like thingies and produced electricity

Granted, a einviromental windfarm aerodynamic thing scientist guy reads this thread, sees my idea on the flying zep-dreadnought and invents giant zeppelins with windfarms on them, however an accident on one while it was in midair causes it to crash land on your house.

I wish that the Royal navy still had battleships.