Granted, now it burns (quite literally)

I wish for 100 more pages

Granted you get 1oo more pages...although they are from the IRS, and guess who delivers them...that's right Chuck himself...
You recieve the pages tied to his foot and delivered with a round house kick to the head thus imbedding the pages in your brain forever...

I wish I the keyboard would connect to the brain, then typing would be obsolete


KD

Granted, you connect your Keyboard USB or PS/2 plug into your brain, I don't think it helps much though

I wish the brain had a USB port

Granted but you waste yours on plugging in a USB LED lit mousepad

I wish the Japanese fleet had less eNAS

Granted, the Japanese fleet has less eNAS, but the wish granter thought the word started with a P and now the entire emasculated Japanese fleet is dancing around singing the sound track to "Westside Story" and "The Sound of Music" causing mass hysteria around the globe

I wish this guy didn't drink so much coffee:rock:

Granted, he drunk that much gasoline

I wish that guy was also one of them fire-swallowing guys (while I was at a safe distance from which I could still watch)

Granted your wish that that guy was also one of them fire-swallowing guys (while I was at a safe distance from which I could still watch)...although you didn't count on the methane gas from his fart whilst holding his breath in..which ignites like a flame thrower thus incinerating all the people who thought they were safe standing behind him...you now look like a burnt matchstick


I wish fire breathers didn't fart

KD

Granted. But holding in all that gas causes them to explode like the Hindenburg, raining burning bits of former fire-breather upon your head because "safe-distance" for a bomb is a lot farther away than where you were standing for the show. :/\\x:

I wish I had a tech-slave to install and merge all my GWX mods for me.

Granted, but as you know, slavery was abolished years ago in the civilized world, and when the police finds out about it, they're not going to be happy

I wish Graf Paper wasn't such a cruel slavemaster

Granted, he's a much crueller wish crusher

I wish that you would kapish

Granted, Raptor1 kapishes, but since he now kapishes he has the knowledge necessary to attain a tactical overthrow of TarJakistan and you are enslaved in a moldy, dingy, dusty dungeon, shackled to the ceiling hanging inches off of the floor covered with mangy rodents intent on nibbling your toes off

I wish I could make money crushing wishes

Granted. You are now compensated $15.50 for each wish crushed. The new wish crusher tax, combined with the share the wealth tax, costs you $17.44. You lose $1.94 for every wish you crush.

I wish I didn't have to pay taxes.

Granted, you now live in a uninhabited ('cept for you) South Pacific Island where the Tax people will never find you

I wish I knew why I had to overthrow TarJak's government (He's supposed to be my ally...)

Granted, you don't pay any taxes but are banged up In DT's dungeon for tax avoidance.

I wish it was 5 o'clock somewhere.

@Raptor1 Granted, You now understand that it was part of a counter-revolutionary plot to overthrow the leadership of Raptorland

@Tango589 Granted, it is but never where you are

I wish strategies would write themselves

Granted, but those strategies send copies to the enemy

I wish strategies weren't so trecherous

Granted, they are now simply...devious.

I wish the prognosis was a diagnosis.

Granted, the prognosis is now a diagnosis, but since "pro" and "dia" are now interchanged, the biatch across the desk from you doesn't know what a prophram is and become pregnant with octuplets which she has to bring to work with her due to lack of a nanny, causing you to spend your days smelling stinky propers on your desk

I wish this guy would quit holding his breath:nope:

He stops, and exhales a poopy diaper right into your face.

I wish I weren't so nasty at times...

Granty, now you are 'so' stupid. :lol:

I wish I knew what I was thinking.