Long before Vendor will.

What do you do for a living?

Oh a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

He is not a seaman.


If the moon was made of cheese how many people could it feed?

Not as many as you'd think due to transportation surcharges.


What do you do if someone sticks a banana in your tailpipe?

Start your car any way all it really does is make a loud bang(if it does that) the exhaust in most any vehicle will blow that banana out in seconds.I have seen this tried a few times it either makes bang or a weak "whoosh" sound very over rated prank.

If you walk unwittingly into a room full of set mouse traps and venomous snakes what do you do assuming that the door locked behind you?

You stand still and call for help.

Now, If I eat myself will I become twice as big or completely disappear?

You'll cause a black hole.

Should Monks enforce consitutional laws?

No.

Who shot J.R.?

Someone who should have shot the rest of the cast...

Why does a slice of bread with peanut butter always land PB side down when dropped?...

<O>

It doesn't. You're putting it on the wrong side.

Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

Because we are ignorant of the laws.

What was the most harrowing experience in your life, so far?

Life with my second Wife.

How many feet will you fall before a parachute opens?

That depends on what altitude you are jumping from and what type of rigging static or free fall. Has the primary chute failed to deploy or not?If both shoots have failed
the answer is until your feet go though the ground.


If you had to spend the rest of your life as any character from a book, movie or TV show who or what would you be?

Jack Ryan from the Clancy books.

What happens if both parachutes deploy?

You'll probably get a biplane or maybe a down plane configuration.
If your really unlucky? You'll get an entanglement.
NOT GOOD!

Don't I have something better to do?
:hmmm:

No Privateer you have nothing better to do well you could surf subsim and drink booze.

If you where in Russia in 1917 what side would you fight for the Communists or the Tzarists?You are in 1917 remember and know nothing about history after 1917 so it must be your gut feeling based on the known conditions.

(I am drinking beer. And in Florida!! :yeah:)
Pass on the answer to the next contestant.

I thought some of my beers where missing and I had a bottle of Captain Morgan around here and now its gone.:shifty:Good thing i laced it with a special die that turns your hair pink.

Why is it that it is known as common sense yet it seems to be very uncommon?

They're few common people...

If there are three fish's in a bowl. Two drown, How many fish's are left?


I got it wrong BTW...

There are three fish left.

When do fish sleep?