http://i.imgur.com/wqgNd.jpg
[Grumble, grumble] stupid ruins [mumble, grumble] stupid quests [Murmur, rant, beeb] stupid emo kids drinking my booze...

And stupid Southern pubs. I've been here for ages and haven't even once got laid! That's going to change right now, perkele!


http://i.imgur.com/VTwbJ.jpg
Eeww, no! I'm not drunk enough!


http://i.imgur.com/BZZLC.jpg
Hmm, better. Hello, gorgeous!


http://i.imgur.com/e3Bsr.jpg
I tell you of when I was in the army. I remember when we once went to the forest and it was so [beeb] cold...


http://i.imgur.com/HErgT.jpg
...and so we ended up in forest and it was so [beeb] cold...


http://i.imgur.com/QPLUE.jpg
...So we burned down our tent in forest and it was so [beeb] cold...


http://i.imgur.com/hxPfD.jpg
...And then we tried to [beeb] in forest...


http://i.imgur.com/lmg7X.jpg
But it was...too...[beeeeeeeeeeeeb] cooooooold...


http://i.imgur.com/kuwv9.jpg
...so [beeb] co...whuh? Where did she go?


http://i.imgur.com/QexCu.jpg
Glxblt stoooopid foreigners...soo...impoolite...so...[beeb]...cold...

:har: :up: Keep it up.

http://i.imgur.com/y6v83.jpg
Uhh...erg...whuh?


http://i.imgur.com/OhUxb.jpg
If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up now!


http://i.imgur.com/wyUnD.jpg
Woot!! Make way! Lalli coming through!!


http://i.imgur.com/2KF2z.jpg
Knock knock...


http://i.imgur.com/tIuN6.jpg
Hey! That's the impolite [beeb] I met earlier in the bar! Where's the cutie?!


http://i.imgur.com/l6Et1.jpg
Oh yeah, that's how it always goes. First they insult your manhood and then play all innocent! Not working, sister, I wasn't born yesterday!


http://i.imgur.com/MCfL4.jpg
Er, wait, you never said you had company?


http://i.imgur.com/8XmGG.jpg
Oh, so we go three ways then. Well, in that case! Just leave the creepy cat out of the picture, I'm not one of those anime losers.


http://i.imgur.com/n1hIU.jpg
Um, in my country we usually do this with far less clothing than these chicks have on...


http://i.imgur.com/XTHpC.jpg
...But on the other hand, big knives make me feel like home.


http://i.imgur.com/ldwXy.jpg
This too. It usually ends like this. So if everything goes the same way in here as back home, then the next step is...


http://i.imgur.com/2pEgQ.jpg
PIGS!!!


http://i.imgur.com/kGnY2.jpg
Run away!!


http://i.imgur.com/b5fGI.jpg
Keep running!!


http://i.imgur.com/xVEux.jpg
Oh [beeb], they are still after me! Make way, pencil neck!!


http://i.imgur.com/VQ0st.jpg
A tenty village! Great!


http://i.imgur.com/s17xw.jpg
I'll hide in one of these. They can't be any smarter than the pigs back home, so me disguising as a tent pole should fool them.

Whew. Sheesh. I haven't ran like that since high school. Boy, did all that sprinting make me tired, nervous, and most of all...


http://i.imgur.com/R5ZA2.jpg
...Thirsty...

So then: apparently bunch of my pictures have randomly disappeared from Imgur and therefore also from this thread.

Updates to continue once I sort this mess out.

Random cursing and swearing to occur much sooner and on more regular basis.

Yeah, noticed that too. :hmmm:

You could go with Photobucket?

I contacted Imgur to see if they would have an explanation for this. From the lost pictures I could see no violation of their terms of service or anything like that, so I'm at the moment willing to believe it's a bug or something. Let's see how it goes. :)

It was either the magic fairy, a random bug or Imgur staff being nice, but all my pictures are now back. Either way, it's time for updates again and lots of hoping that nothing fishy will occur.

A small request: in case you happen bump into something missing somewhere in the earlier parts of the story in the future, please notify me. I don't browse through them, because frankly, after editing the texts many times before posting them, I'm really not capable of laughing at my own jokes anymore.

Anyway: beer and chips for everyone! We are back!


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


http://i.imgur.com/0gx8i.jpg
Err, lalalalaa...Sun kainaloosi käperryn, ja jos sallit, yöksi jään...
(I snuggle with you and if you let me, I'll stay over night...)


http://i.imgur.com/J79IR.jpg
Ja kun aamu on...
(And when it's morning...)


http://i.imgur.com/QJLtk.jpg
En tiedä missä herään...
(I don't know where I'm waking up...)

Wow...


http://i.imgur.com/LCQXK.jpg
You know, I've woken up in some interesting places, including under a palm tree, but this beats it all. When the preachers said drinking would condemn me to Hell one day, I didn't think they meant it literally.

Impaled heads, big red spikes, black rocks, lava...


http://i.imgur.com/omrxM.jpg
And a huge glowing tower. I think I'll head there and ask the devil what kind of beverages they serve in here.


http://i.imgur.com/u95xA.jpg
So on my way I get familiar with the local fauna...


http://i.imgur.com/IqGks.jpg
...Fascinating plants...


http://i.imgur.com/MytpY.jpg
...And chat with the locals too.


http://i.imgur.com/a5rbE.jpg
After doing some good old sight seeing...


http://i.imgur.com/lsi6l.jpg
...It's time for a creative pause.


http://i.imgur.com/USbsX.jpg
Until finally I'm at the door of the big man himself. Hello? Anybody home?


http://i.imgur.com/P7UAf.jpg
He seems to be out, but I found this huge, glowy stone in the main hall. I wonder if I could touch it just a little?


http://i.imgur.com/ihurF.jpg
Oops...


http://i.imgur.com/Itkkb.jpg
For the record, I totally didn't mean to break it and my immortal soul can't be held accountable for things I do while drunk.


http://i.imgur.com/afHz3.jpg
This dude I don't remember seeing is overjoyed to see me and goes on about some heroic fight and reclaiming and stuff. And promises a reward too if I help him, so...


http://i.imgur.com/sZJX2.jpg
For booze!


http://i.imgur.com/8fdAF.jpg
The heroic assault begins. Give back Karelia!


http://i.imgur.com/rRDW3.jpg
Err, come to think of it, maybe I need a little something to encourage me on the way...


http://i.imgur.com/hpy5F.jpg
Riiight behind youuu guys...

http://i.imgur.com/4PlXP.jpg
Wooooo! Look at me!!


http://i.imgur.com/7sqXP.jpg
[Beeb!]


http://i.imgur.com/Capav.jpg
I'm king! King Lalli the Great! All hail me...


http://i.imgur.com/B9yJd.jpg
Blrrp, where am I again? This place stinks like...

Someone's soles?


http://i.imgur.com/5QnzJ.jpg
Oh...


http://i.imgur.com/I3kQk.jpg
Umm...


http://i.imgur.com/LZeZe.jpg
I think this is the part where I whistle innocently and walk away. Quickly.


http://i.imgur.com/0YP6A.jpg
On my way to someplace far far away else I meet this angsty guy who wants to share his life story with me.


http://i.imgur.com/ijTib.jpg
I'm all ears until it turns out he is one of those! I should have known from the relatively cute chick behind him! I'm not falling for that trap for the sec...thir...manyeth time!


http://i.imgur.com/dgwEH.jpg
Help! It's following me! And there aren't even any frozen lakes around here!

http://i.imgur.com/ERt4I.jpg
I stole this horse too, but it's still after me! Somebody do something!


http://i.imgur.com/w1qbJ.jpg
Run, stupid horse, run! It can't follow us until the end of the world. Or if it can, we'll find out soon!


http://i.imgur.com/yVh3d.jpg
Great! A fortress with a big door! I'll seek asylum there. Quickly, before it finds me!


http://i.imgur.com/izBb9.jpg
Help! I'm a victim of fundy assault! Help! Open the...


http://i.imgur.com/kStqH.jpg
Great, tha...hey! I'm here!


http://i.imgur.com/z1Fjp.jpg
No idea why that guy is so interested in the preacher, but at least it gives me a minute to find a hiding place. Run, Lalli, run!


http://i.imgur.com/GzGnb.jpg
Whuh? Are all these guys standing in attention here for me?


http://i.imgur.com/49wRk.jpg
Why is no one paying attention to me in this place?


http://i.imgur.com/ochWx.jpg
Whuh? Hey! Over here, idiots! I'm the victim here! Stop hailing the fundy like he's your next Messiah or something!


http://i.imgur.com/LGTg7.jpg
Typical liberal green-leftist flower hat society pampering the criminal. Disgusting! I'm out of here!


http://i.imgur.com/fkJ3G.jpg
Stupid horse...


http://i.imgur.com/NzhFW.jpg
Well, not all is lost. That place looks like it's still based on manly medieval values like gallows, servile women and good booze.

http://i.imgur.com/nCqWT.jpg
Sure enough, as soon as I open the gates, I'm greeted as a hero. My masculine fame must have impressed the Countess even before I've met her. Off to the castle!


http://i.imgur.com/xffn4.jpg
Ready! Then you can bake me a pie, woman!


http://i.imgur.com/ek8q0.jpg
Yesyesyes, let's get to the point...


http://i.imgur.com/r6zxJ.jpg
Look, I'm not interested in you, I just want sex!


http://i.imgur.com/7wJ38.jpg
So is that a "no" then?


http://i.imgur.com/khJjJ.jpg
Typical woman. They don't appreciate my traditional honesty.


http://i.imgur.com/1wPb8.jpg
It's the fault of the society...


http://i.imgur.com/Ch4Z4.jpg
And the fault of those academic nancy boys who made the society like that!


http://i.imgur.com/D5Jwz.jpg
I'll beat you up, shtoopid wimp! I bet you didn't even sheerve in the aarmy!


http://i.imgur.com/6Iwyg.jpg
Shtop in oone plaace shoo I caan hit youuu...I'll show youu...what they taught meee...in the aarmyy!


http://i.imgur.com/OMirl.jpg
Blp, I'm shleepy...


http://i.imgur.com/NdMG5.jpg
Ugh...a bed made out of hays...candle...wet stones...smells like old piss...

Yeah, I know a drunk tank when I see one. That stupid coward must have called the pigs. But if this is a drunk tank, then who is the other...


http://i.imgur.com/lJ0TC.jpg
What? Oh no! Nononononono!


http://i.imgur.com/rKguI.jpg
I'm not dropping the soap this time, don't even try!


http://i.imgur.com/6HEsX.jpg
But after a while of me being fortified in the corner, we start chatting. Turns out this guy and I have a lot in common...


http://i.imgur.com/c7BzO.jpg
And he promises me gold for making things better between him and his spouse. Well, since I already made my bed and am getting out soon...


http://i.imgur.com/5uszB.jpg
...then why not go back to use it too?


http://i.imgur.com/r4V7w.jpg
Turns out no one was interested in a cheating hag vanishing, but my cell mate was overjoyed. What wouldn't I do to help a fellow opressed male in this anti-patriotic hippie society that the Empire Union brought us?


http://i.imgur.com/FXMb9.jpg
Or to get lots of money, for that matter. I'm sure he'd like some of this too, but since he is in prison, there is no way he'd be able to come after me before I have already drunk it all.


http://i.imgur.com/oR5zt.jpg
Better not waste any time, though...

http://i.imgur.com/wzB3Q.jpg
Just as I'm sleeping off the hangover I got because of that stupid Jorundr stashing away too much money...


http://i.imgur.com/4nHnJ.jpg
This pencil neck comes wake me up and demands to know what's going on.


http://i.imgur.com/c9yxq.jpg
He quickly learns the same thing as my two former neighbors: no one disturbs my hangover mornings.


http://i.imgur.com/nGClv.jpg
No, not even cute red heads filled to brim with clichéd RPG one-liners...


http://i.imgur.com/ysmqn.jpg
As I'm walking out of the pub, yet another guy stops me. I try frightening him away by telling what I did to his pals, but unfortunately he turns out to be a mathematician...


http://i.imgur.com/sGM3Z.jpg
Finally, there is this chick with a sword she shouldn't be able to even lift with those rope arms of her. Did I accidentally wake up in a bloody videogame?


http://i.imgur.com/n4UdB.jpg
Well, I was hoping at least that there would be an accordingly beautiful damsel in distress too after all my trouble, but all I get is a hippie boy with horrible hairstyle. Typical! If he says a single word about my princess being in another castle, I'm going to mash his face in.


http://i.imgur.com/htJPo.jpg
That bar just plain sucked! I need to vent off some steam by hitting pencil necks. A lot!


http://i.imgur.com/gobNO.jpg
It would be easier if they finally found me a helmet that suits my noble form.


http://i.imgur.com/H5ycO.jpg
After lots of pencil neck hitting, the black man starts calling me with names! Typical! All tough words, but still refuses to fight me himself! Well, I'll show him!


http://i.imgur.com/GlP7w.jpg
Mr. Angsty Lifestory is more impressed by my prowess and realizes how empty and meaningless his life has been compared to mine.


http://i.imgur.com/zDWdv.jpg
But most of all, the rack is still not impressed! Argh! [Beeb], woman, you live in a celibate or something?!


http://i.imgur.com/P0HAY.jpg
At one point I get tired and need to cool off a little between the matches. So instead I decide to observe how some other poor fools get maimed.


http://i.imgur.com/CEQS2.jpg
Hey, no one told me they served free refreshments for the audience!


http://i.imgur.com/VIW32.jpg
Cheeeeersh...wonderful, Lions, wonderful! Never forget 1995!

http://i.imgur.com/GUt3o.jpg
Öörrr, den glider in!!!


http://i.imgur.com/nBbkB.jpg
Den glider in i mål igen!!!


http://i.imgur.com/LAd3a.jpg
Vou, vou, vou...ugh...Best! Party! Ever!!


http://i.imgur.com/aRKwY.jpg
What are those guys staring down there?


http://i.imgur.com/osPEI.jpg
What? Is it something I said?


http://i.imgur.com/El1OO.jpg
Did...did that [beeb] statue just...talk?!!


http://i.imgur.com/lf39J.jpg
Delirious or not, when a huge scary statue tells you to do something, I know it's more healthy than not to just nod your head. So before I knew it, it popped me to this little village in the middle of nowhere and told me to go scare the [beeb] out of some local redneck.


http://i.imgur.com/rvAC1.jpg
Easy enough. That boy is the only guy within 10km radius.


http://i.imgur.com/PR6g8.jpg
He also turns out to be a real loser. So I'm sure scaring him will be easy. So...boo!


http://i.imgur.com/i0zQE.jpg
Melus Petilius?! Heehehehehheheee, really?! And I'm Biggus Dickus!


http://i.imgur.com/CzEsF.jpg
Sissyyyy! Pansyy! Nyah nyah nyah!!


http://i.imgur.com/xuq3K.jpg
What, not crying yet? Well, nancy boy, give me your lunch money then or I'll beat you up!


http://i.imgur.com/KAGGu.jpg
[Beeb], missed!


http://i.imgur.com/kogWv.jpg
Stop being so annoyingly polite!!


http://i.imgur.com/73FVt.jpg
Ha! Hit you!


http://i.imgur.com/60jCr.jpg
Stop that!

http://i.imgur.com/Gsbom.jpg
Screw this, I'm getting a headache from those overly talky academic guys. I'll go drink the apple juices from his fridge soon, but first I need to take a dump. That statue can't deny me my constitutional right for self-relieving on employer's time.


http://i.imgur.com/qu3Kk.jpg
This looks like a suitably remote place. That stone will make sure no one comes peeking too much . OK now:


http://i.imgur.com/87qXR.jpg
Hnngh!

Should have taken some toilet paper here too, but can't get it all...


http://i.imgur.com/BEKyy.jpg
Hey, it's the nerd again. Why does he look so upset? Did someone throw his cap into dog poo or flush his head in toilet?


http://i.imgur.com/2AKjR.jpg
Ooo, is the little sissy going to hit me with a club? Yeah right, like he could...


http://i.imgur.com/elDzS.jpg
Hey! Stop that!


http://i.imgur.com/Oc4yF.jpg
At least let me put my freaking pants back on!


http://i.imgur.com/vqu6p.jpg
Well great! Now the stupid statue decided to teleport me back here! My pants are still in there, and I don't even know where that village is!


http://i.imgur.com/iB9tx.jpg
The talky statue is happy and promises me a great reward.


http://i.imgur.com/AKdtG.jpg
But even when it's a freaking huge statue that can talk, it can't conjure me new pants. Some god. It can't even make the mosquitoes go away from my legs...

http://i.imgur.com/tJlx6.jpg
My glorious quest for new pants takes me to all four corners of the world, until finally I arrive to another talking statue and tell it what its colleague did to me.

It tells me I should have a talk with this guy nearby, who is using some Ogres or something as slaves and convince him to set them free. Typical. It's an almighty god-like entity, and it still needs me to do its dirty work.


http://i.imgur.com/QAxf7.jpg
The dude I'm supposed to convince is not convinced at all. In fact, he has convinced me that Ogre slave labor is the way to save us from depression.


http://i.imgur.com/ZtIIO.jpg
But me getting new pants is more important than solving the global economical problems, so I decide to have a chat with his employees instead about releasing the Ogres.


http://i.imgur.com/jU1EH.jpg
The Ogres themselves make some very convincing arguments about their poor working conditions, and the guards as fellow proletarians quickly join their cause. Well, the ones that are left anyway.


http://i.imgur.com/V5L9X.jpg
Even the owner of the Ogres is now willing to renegotiate the details of their contract.


http://i.imgur.com/QPNvI.jpg
And this talky statue is happy again.


http://i.imgur.com/6QoyL.jpg
So am I. One of the guards of those Ogres gave me new pants. Or at least didn't complain about me taking them after the Ogres had smashed his head into paste. Back to adventuring!


http://i.imgur.com/VGDJS.jpg
Hmm, this is what I like in travelling. New and exciting cities!


http://i.imgur.com/YoWYK.jpg
Culture!


http://i.imgur.com/1wlob.jpg
Cheerful locals!


http://i.imgur.com/vLxVh.jpg
Pubs I haven't been banned from yet!

http://i.imgur.com/aCDHQ.jpg
Maaaan, yeah! I just love culture! Just as I'm admiring the architechture of this church from behind...


http://i.imgur.com/x5s5j.jpg
A tiny man with huge ears approaches me. I know what that is! I've seen them before! A tooth fairy!


http://i.imgur.com/jC6Bb.jpg
I think it's the Swedes. They always bribe the hockey judges.


http://i.imgur.com/R1qBE.jpg
Gold! Yes!! It really is the Tooth Fairy!! I knew it existed all along!!


http://i.imgur.com/Ud8VU.jpg
Truth be told, I'm sure it asked me to do something, but I somewhat lost my concentration after the "I pay you" part. So in the morning I decide to follow my motto, as to not disappoint the kind fairy: when in doubt, drink booze.


http://i.imgur.com/g1pS5.jpg
So I spend another culture filled day hoping the Tooth Fairy would come to me again...


http://i.imgur.com/PFyKo.jpg
And of course it does. It asks some silly questions and since I have no idea, I just nod and smile.


http://i.imgur.com/eA9d8.jpg
That seems to make the fairy happy and it promises me some more gold. Yay!


http://i.imgur.com/jQ92T.jpg
It's the beest...tooth fairy...ever!


http://i.imgur.com/KXAoL.jpg
I'm not sure what it asked me to do again, but I think it said: "Go sleep in grape vats and wait for further instructions."


http://i.imgur.com/ybOjZ.jpg
The pigs don't find my excuse believable so I also get to know the back alleys of this city quite well on this day.


http://i.imgur.com/uBeya.jpg
Since the haven't found me boozing behind this church for the last two nights, I'm sure they won't find me here now either.

Which reminds me...

http://i.imgur.com/vMt4g.jpg
Urg...whuh? How looong did I...er, sleep? Yeaah, that's it...sleeep? Riiight...

Heeey, it's my frieeeend... the Tooth Fairy again! Hooray! I love the Tooth Fairy! I love everyone!


http://i.imgur.com/9xKRd.jpg
No idea what the fairy asked, so again I just nod and smile and it pays me! Yaay! Thank you, Tooth Fairy! But this time Lalli is good boy and listens to friend Tooth Fairy. Tooth Fairy says I should spy...


http://i.imgur.com/6Ybub.jpg
The local wine brewers! Yippee! Tooth Fairy really knows all the best stuff!

So I spend a day behind this rock, carefully watching them...


http://i.imgur.com/ZEIpx.jpg
...When I'm not assessing the quality of their products, that is...


http://i.imgur.com/z0cRz.jpg
Wow, how the time flies when you are having fun. Before I even notice it, the Tooth Fairy wakes me up again to ask funny questions. But I know how to answer this time!


http://i.imgur.com/ey56i.jpg
Yep, nodding and smiling did the trick again. More gold for Lalli! Lalli is good boy!


http://i.imgur.com/7JT5t.jpg
And not just gold, but the Tooth Fairy also gives me this paper saying what I should do. Now I'm a little insulted. Does the Tooth Fairy suspect I don't remember otherwise?


http://i.imgur.com/F8uPE.jpg
Anyway, I make a few visits to some locals.


http://i.imgur.com/4XJEu.jpg
And the Tooth Fairy again rewards me generously. We laugh together until the Tooth Fairy walks away never to be seen again. Bye, Tooth Fairy! I love you! I love...

I love...I...I...wow...


http://i.imgur.com/TsdA0.jpg
My [beeb] head. How long have I been drinking? Three days and nights or what? I wonder if I have again done something embarrassing while drunk?


http://i.imgur.com/7Up1p.jpg
Well, when in doubt...

:timeout:

Why would we do that?

We don't need to, we win anyway! :haha:

Just you wait until...er...until...uh...

(2011 - 1995...er, I add that, then divide this with it...)

Give me a moment OK!

(2000 minus 1000 times the square root...syntax error? Um...)

2027! We'll show you then!

- - - -

In addition to banter: Imgur ate my recently uploaded images again and I have no idea when I'm going to have them back. So no promises about tomorrow's update or the imminent future.

http://i.imgur.com/lWZLq.jpg
Err...my head hurts...and my mouth tastes...salty?


http://i.imgur.com/Ynpkm.jpg
Whuh?! Bleergh! What have I done?! And more importantly, why am I getting paid for it?!


http://i.imgur.com/udvBT.jpg
No I'm not! Whatever happened last night was strictly buddy-like and you can't prove otherwise!


http://i.imgur.com/FfEYt.jpg
Must regain masculinity! Must kill many pencil necks! Skirts be darned!


http://i.imgur.com/Sfyma.jpg
What the [beeeeeb] is that?!


http://i.imgur.com/2pimE.jpg
Whatever it is, it's no pencil neck. I need to try new fighting tactics. I saw this being used in one old film so here goes nothing!


http://i.imgur.com/2U6uV.jpg
Stop swinging that axe around! Do you have any idea how straining it's for muscles?! My neck muscles, especially!


http://i.imgur.com/PyVGU.jpg
Let me ouuuut!


http://i.imgur.com/uNtoV.jpg
If I survive this, I'll find the guy who designed the invisible walls around here and have a chat with him!


http://i.imgur.com/kUny1.jpg
Huff! Puff! Must...keep...running...he...is...

Where, actually? I can't help noticing my neck sweating when the swinging axe isn't creating refreshing breezes.


http://i.imgur.com/PzWa3.jpg
Hm? I suppose he had a cardiac arrest. Come to think of it, this happened in the film too. Who says the TV makes you dumber?


http://i.imgur.com/5tOg9.jpg
The rack apparently saw my match, which doesn't improve my mood at all.


http://i.imgur.com/6ylUo.jpg
Look, just because I'm wearing a skirt doesn't mean you can laugh at my face and then ignore me.


http://i.imgur.com/21FlO.jpg
Nor does it give this guy a right to make shady suggestions all the time. I swear, if he uses this whole gladiator theme as an exuse for telling me to strip down to my undies and start oiling my muscles, I'm out of here for good!


http://i.imgur.com/RcZXv.jpg
Since everyone is laughing at me, I'll go beat up some pencil necks again. At least my mace understand my deepest feelings if no one else doesn't.

http://i.imgur.com/JgS68.jpg
Ooo, OK, now we're talking! That's OK, I don't mind if you want to do it in public.


http://i.imgur.com/XPkSA.jpg
To hasten the important process of me getting laid with hottie rack, I challenge these three idiots for a pencil neck beating match all at once. That should show her how great endurance I have!


http://i.imgur.com/cOFGn.jpg
Then this cat dude learns that those big claws and teeth are no good if you don't have the reach as well.


http://i.imgur.com/siDGE.jpg
Yeah! I'm the hero! I showed them all! Even the blackie isn't mocking me anymore! Eat your heart out Russell Crowe!


http://i.imgur.com/vcsFz.jpg
So? How about it, huh? Huh?! I'm the hero now! Hero always gets the dame, huh? Huh?!


http://i.imgur.com/pNQ9M.jpg
Yeah, exactly! "Going through you" is what I've been about all the time. So what are we waiting for?


http://i.imgur.com/cYJWm.jpg
Finally. The moment of truth. The big moment of my life.


http://i.imgur.com/68Vpj.jpg
This arena has seen me facing off with many pencil necks, but these encounters pale compared to the epic adventure I'm about to start now.


http://i.imgur.com/UAuRm.jpg
She has brought some friends to share the fun. I'm a little disappointed that one of them is a man, but I suppose it's fair for the ladies in the audience.


Whereas with me comes...


http://i.imgur.com/QDNGY.jpg
...Sir Oinksalot?


http://i.imgur.com/ylxiN.jpg
Whatever! Let's get started! I'm not sure when these stupid rules finally let us take these idiotic skirts off, but I'll play along until that. No skirt is going to stop me after all I have done for this very moment!


http://i.imgur.com/Lf1C0.jpg
Hey, look sister, just because I accidentally killed both of your buddies and the pig is no reason to give me looks like that. You're here for me anyway, aren't you?


http://i.imgur.com/RjqcG.jpg
Hey? What's the matter? Are we going to have horizontal mambo or not?


http://i.imgur.com/B871q.jpg
[Beeb] foreigners and their [beebbeebbeebetybeeb] frail bodies not used to [beeb] real Northern [beebbeeb] man! That's it! I'm going home to drink beer! Lots of it!