Granted, but only theoretically.

I wish the outcome was worth the effort.

Granted. Postin your wish is nearly effortless. Watching it get crushed mercilessly is equally effortless, yet worth it every time.

I wish stopping by to crush jimbuna's dream wasn't going to make me late for school.

Granted, too bad that being on time meant that you were at school when the entire building mysteriously vanished from the space time continuum with everybody in it.

I wish eggs came from eggplants.

Granted, but they already do ...

http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,777073,00.jpg

I wish I could mustard up my courage http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...port/drool.gif

granted, now your courage tastes like a spawnfull of Löwensenf mustard

I wish Löwensenf mustard weren't as hot

Granted, it's now thoroughly room-temprature.

I wish...Okay, maybe not...

Aborting your wish does no good, it is still Granted and automatically Crushed and then Mutilated, Burned, Chopped, Diced, Buried, dug up again and eaten by a drunken porcupine.

I wish digital cameras still used film.

Granted, digital cameras now save their digital videos on film, leaving you with a nice useless film filled with only 1s and 0s

I wish computers would count in the digital system instead of in binary

granted... and oops... only yours... makeing it extremly in effecent, and confused...

I wish I had all I ever wanted

Granted, it is all going to be delivered to your current location in 3...2...1...

I wish the topgallants were open

Granted, just like your trouser zipper.

I wish those rumours were plausable.

Granted, the rumours are true, your trouser zipper is open.

I wish a rolling stone could gather moss.

Granted the 20 ton boulder rolling down the hill at your house has gathered Mr. Moss your next door neighbour on its way.

I wish hot tamales were easier to find.

Granted, hot tamales arnt that hot at all you find.

I wish the Luftwaffles were a tasty baked good.

Granted, they are tasty baked goods that proceed to bomb your kitchen into near oblivion.

I wish I had a squadron of Spitfires.

Granted, but goring just looks at you funny... and says

ZEE 109 IST GUT ENOUGH!!!

I wish they understood.

Granted, they understand just fine. They just don't care.

I wish there to be Free Beer for All, even me...

Granted. Free beer for all, including you. Near beer, no alcohol.

I wish I wasn't so damn good looking.

Granted you now look as pretty as a box full of sh!t.

I wish the grape could be mixed with the grain.

Granted, but now it all tastes the same to you and you're so drunk all the time you don't know or care anymore. But isn't that the natural state for an Aussie?

I wish I understood what I just said.