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Jokes:
President Bush gave a speech in a British Primary School one day, and he came in infront of the children, surrounded by his security, applause from everywhere. So they sit down and Mr Bush begins by asking "Now, before we start, does anyone have a question?" And a little boy puts up his hand "Whats your name, son?" "Hello Mr Bush" he says "My name is Billy" "Hello Billy, what's your question?" "Actually Mr Bush, I have two questions. Why is it you're president of the United States when Mr Gore had more votes than you did, and where is Bin Laden?" And with that, the school bell rang and all the children filed off for their lunch. An hour later, and they all came back in and sat down, and once again Mr Bush said "Does anyone have any questions?" And another boy puts his hand up: "Mr Bush, I have four questions. Why is it you're president of the United States when Mr Gore had more votes, where is Bin Laden, why did the school bell go 20 minutes early today, and where is Billy?" __________________________________________________ ______________________________ Rambler: Now..is that the sun or the moon up there? *points up at the midday sky* Rambler 2: I dont know, what do you reckon it is? Rambler: I dont know, I dont come from 'round here. __________________________________________________ ______________________________ |
:rotfl: :lol:
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A Dog Story
A blind man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. The plane had a stop-over in Sacramento.The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in one hour. Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. Another man had noticed him as he walked by and could tell the gentleman was blind because his Seeing Eye Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. He could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and calling him by name, said, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for an hour, would you like to get off and stretch your legs? "The blind man replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs." Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye Dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story.... |
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4387746397317143153
:rotfl:Ow god..Village people back in WW2 |
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Obviously, you have never been in the United States Navy stuck at sea on a Fleet Ballistic Missile Nuclear Submarine with 120 other men (I think I left myself open on that one) with nothin else to do, but spin yarns with other like minded people in sonar ... Who always had a better story than you did, plus you had to be quicker than in a crap game if you wanted to be the next sailor to tell your story. But I forgive you, because I love you ... You can forgive people without loving them, but it is almost impossible to love people without forgiving them too. |
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What's the difference between a fairy tale and a war story? A fairy tale starts with "Once upon a time"; a war story starts with "No $#!+, there I was!" |
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I beg your pardon ... The title of this thread is "The Fun(ny) thread ..." I got my story from a very reliable source, another submarine sailor ... :lol: |
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http://www.private-eye.co.uk/picture...r_bee_gees.jpg
THOSE BLAIR FREEBEEGEES HOLIDAY HITS IN FULL Did you hear Blair that he will not give up his long distance holidays and to make up for it on the green front he will plant a tree. |
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Wow
ASW nut you have the same sense of humor as my wife I couldnt finish watching them not that there not funny I just cant see the injuries and remove myself that easily.:hmm::up: Phantom you on the other hand have my sense of humor I couldnt stop race reading through it. :hmm::up::up: Ill be back to post one. MM |
Two tourists were driving through Wales.
At Llanhyfryddawelllehynafolybaarcudprindanfygy they stopped for lunch and asked the waitress "before we order could you please settle an argument, and pronounce where we are...................................very slowly?" The waitress leaned over and said "Burrr - gurrr - king" :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: |
A woman has twins, And gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt,
And is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, You've seen Ahmal." |
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