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Awesome.:D
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http://i.imgur.com/qwH18wv.jpg
Yawn! Is this the only party place this hole has? Well okay, I suppose they serve apple cider in here. Perhaps I'll just step in and see what's on the... http://i.imgur.com/seoGW1h.jpg Ewww! Gee-Tee-Ef-Oh, freak! That's, like, the lamest hitting attempt I've ever seen! http://i.imgur.com/sIc2sXa.jpg Brainwash? Yeah like, reality check, at least I totally have brain to wash here. And speaking of washing, how about you get intimate with the soap before getting intimate with any, like, women! Leave me alone! http://i.imgur.com/bymMhC5.jpg Gross! Why do all the men always try getting in my pants?! Men are all shallow pigs who are only thinking about sex. No wonder they hang out in a places like this. http://i.imgur.com/NTQ31jH.jpg I mean, God! Electric light! This must be, like, the newest thing since sliced bread to guys like him. I totally haven't drunk enough apple cider to make him look even moderately attractive yet. But perhaps I'll fix that. http://i.imgur.com/Cd1l5ef.jpg Well finally someone I can relate to. I mean, apart from layer of dirt and still not knowing what running water means, she seems OK. http://i.imgur.com/WQAQZ2H.jpg Oh! An oppressed woman! Yeah, sister, you should totally stand up for your rights! You know because like really blahblahblahmenblahblahblahpigsblahblahblahchauvin istblahblahblahheteronormativeblahblahblahpatriarc hyblahblahblahoppressionsblahblahblahrepressionbla hblahblahanarcho-capitalismblahblahblahveganismblahblahblahreincarn ationblahblahblahequalityblahblahblah... Sheesh, is it just me or is the air really dry in here? I still need that apple cider! http://i.imgur.com/EEvCzzw.jpg Hey! Cute, totally funny and witty bartender guy? Could I...GAAAH, WTF ARE YOU??!! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF SUNSCREEN??!! WHERE'S THE TOILET, I NEED TO PUKE!!! http://i.imgur.com/et6amG5.jpg Must be somewhere in he...hey?! Are you winking at me?! I think you're winking at me?! Stop that! Can't a girl feel nauseated here in peace?! http://i.imgur.com/5VMznLk.jpg AND STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX!!! http://i.imgur.com/DGscOew.jpg Uh, helloooooo?! Not that kind of Liberal! I mean, maybe if you got rid of that totally turn off hat, but... http://i.imgur.com/6g2cgH6.jpg WHAAAAT??!! http://i.imgur.com/U8MCsXt.jpg That's it! I'm finding that unwashed guy who called himself sheriff and tell him that dirty old man just tried to turn me into a prostitute! http://i.imgur.com/HpQNRFD.jpg Hey! Hey you! You there! Big, muscular, overly-masculine male with the facial hair! Represent me! http://i.imgur.com/jyYkD2g.jpg Yeah, I'm totally a fragile girl in shocked state and want a knight in shining armor (that's you, dummy) to go punch him in the face for me. http://i.imgur.com/hfOggTr.jpg Well yeah, I guess throwing him in a dark cell and throwing the key away satisfies my inner need for primitive revenge too. http://i.imgur.com/HqYNO2B.jpg OK, I'll leave the boys to settle it together. That will teach that dirty old man to think women need those male chauvinist pigs for something. |
http://i.imgur.com/qFwOym0.jpg
Huh? What's that then? It's like everyone was congregating around that obnoxiously obvious phallic symbol and paying some sort of respect to it. I'll have to tell these people of my political opinions on equality and female emancipation! http://i.imgur.com/49NJVUG.jpg Uh, hello? You're some sort of head chauvinist around here, right? http://i.imgur.com/3F9DvZG.jpg Yeah, I just wanted to say you're, like, soooooo wrong because blahblahblahinequalityblahblahblahundereducationbl ahblahblahsmellyblah... http://i.imgur.com/buMPM4V.jpg Huh? Okay. Well, I disagree and that's wrong! And furthermore blahblahblahrightsblahblahblahfeministtheoryblahbl ahblahgenderstudiesblahblahblah http://i.imgur.com/uiHtu3D.jpg BlahblahblahMarxblahblahblahHoppeblahblahblahPoppe rblahblahblahLévi-Strausblahblahblah http://i.imgur.com/4UcVCta.jpg blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah http://i.imgur.com/Ifi6Qqc.jpg blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah http://i.imgur.com/mBPHUNP.jpg blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahba...h ey? Where did everyone go? I wasn't done yet! http://i.imgur.com/ZFmLNxz.jpg How impolite! They turned of the lights too light I wasn't there to begin with. Good thing I can see in dark. I never knew my body was self-illuminated, but it appears it is. http://i.imgur.com/26O7lGh.jpg I'm not feeling very good, though. Must have caught cold or something. http://i.imgur.com/LfAdz8O.jpg Maybe Wendy would have some hot tofu soup to help it. http://i.imgur.com/4Njceju.jpg Hi Wendy! I'm a little ill. http://i.imgur.com/jMHu3Df.jpg Teehee, you're such a charmer. I, like, totally love you despite of you being a smelly working class girl! http://i.imgur.com/egRImI4.jpg Huh? How can you interpret what I said like that? Do you know what I said? I said blahblahblahblahblah... http://i.imgur.com/jxa2Rpn.jpg And then I was like yadayadayadayada and then Mary said blahblahblah and the boys yadayadayada "look at those muscular arms" blahblahblah men chauvinist pigs blahblahblah. Hey, I'm already feeling better! Thanks, Wendy! You really are cool depsite of not having understood the genius in Hoppe's collected works. Bee-Ef-Ef! http://i.imgur.com/TdC5hhZ.jpg Wow! Really? Like not just a SUPER mart, but like, a SUPER-DUPER MART?! You know what that means??!! http://i.imgur.com/9NzgtP7.jpg Shopping spree!!!!! Squeeeeeeel!!!! :D :D http://i.imgur.com/FylP6y2.jpg ...And stop trying to hit on me, metal freak! |
http://i.imgur.com/JKL1aHG.jpg
Sheesh this place is hot! Will someone finally turn the air conditioning on?! I hope the sunscreen is on sale. http://i.imgur.com/HKFUJ5n.jpg Oooooooooo, puppy <3 <3 <3!!!!!! I love puppies!!! I love all animals!! Well, except the fish. They are slimy. Ewww! http://i.imgur.com/GPYAMkE.jpg Here, Sparky! Come to mommy! http://i.imgur.com/p3Z5yGu.jpg Oooww, it bit me! It bit me!! Is that blood?! Ohmygod I can't stand blood! Especially not my own! Down, Sparky! Down! http://i.imgur.com/lhecnpf.jpg Heeeelp! Will someone please put a leash on him?!! http://i.imgur.com/7NzCysj.jpg Whew. I think he went away. Okay, the coast is clear. http://i.imgur.com/0imF9ED.jpg These local dog owners should really train their puppies better. I wonder where that puppy's master was anyways? I'll have to give him a stern lecture on animal cruelty and ethical training methods when I find him. http://i.imgur.com/6vtvmQ3.jpg Finally! The proverbial oasis of consumption! The veritable paradise of slashed prices! The Elysian field of 100%-ethical-and-globally-conscious-customer-choices! 75 % discounts, here I come! http://i.imgur.com/onUBSOs.jpg Okay, I know how it is with the sales. The queue must be miles long by this time of the day already. I'd better go in carefully and see where I could slip in... http://i.imgur.com/9SU10oJ.jpg ...Unnoticed???? http://i.imgur.com/ZXeo5DU.jpg Oh...oh dear... http://i.imgur.com/VPPCcRd.jpg They must have started already. This poor fellow was trampled to death! http://i.imgur.com/YthtnUR.jpg Huh? That's pretty clever. I've never thought of passing the queue by reversing gravity. Seems he got caught for breaking the laws of physics, though. Must still note that for myself. http://i.imgur.com/1DCIvCS.jpg This changes things. http://i.imgur.com/kUDtrsY.jpg My adversaries are obviously seasoned veterans of the sales wars. http://i.imgur.com/TrcywBd.jpg I may have to change tactics to overcome them. I may have to go against some of my basic principles... http://i.imgur.com/cJoTwvY.jpg ...for values even more precious than those. http://i.imgur.com/arvZlQ0.jpg My wardrobe depends on it!!! http://i.imgur.com/BDyJYMU.jpg Good thing I have this toy pistol with me, so I can spook them. Okay, here goes nothing. |
http://i.imgur.com/w9lUclB.jpg
Everyone freeze! I'm armed with a non-biodegradable piece of child amusement industry and I'm not afraid to take the nature as my hostage if need be! http://i.imgur.com/O8Wrxwu.jpg Huh? It's empty? Where is everyone? http://i.imgur.com/d3sCUvI.jpg Wooo! Apart from the mess, it seems all the stuff is still untouched!! Where's my handbag?! http://i.imgur.com/UnAO92p.jpg According to what I have studied in the anthropology classes, the primitive cultures use those to store food. Let's see if soy sausages would be discounted! http://i.imgur.com/8l63qeU.jpg Eeww, what's that? I can't tell from all the mold. I'd demand a refund if I had bought anything in the first place. Pass! http://i.imgur.com/i5T72Bq.jpg WOW, a brand new hairdryer with two sets of batteries too! Gimme! http://i.imgur.com/1y8yhdF.jpg Cool, this must be some sort of new model. My preliminary analysis concludes that it propels some sort of concentration of hot air approximately 600 feet away and can thus be used to dry hair remotely too. Handy! http://i.imgur.com/w7DYlFh.jpg I'd better hold on to it. Now where's the clothes isle? I totally need something more fashionable than these old coveralls I'm still wearing. http://i.imgur.com/0yUZeHs.jpg Good thing I'm all alone in here. Would hate to fight for my life over a new pair of trousers. http://i.imgur.com/ewkfw9B.jpg That looks like the customer service desk. I'll ask there! http://i.imgur.com/BTYx2aW.jpg Uh, hello! Could you please point me to your new summer models? http://i.imgur.com/1X6f4dz.jpg And while you're at it, I'd like to ask about this hair dryer I bought. See, I'm still a little unsure on how to change the batteries on this thing. I mean, I've already found this big button that makes it go like this... http://i.imgur.com/ye0SNjb.jpg Ohmygod I'm terribly sorry! I totally didn't mean to do that! http://i.imgur.com/vY7kEZL.jpg So anyway, if you could...hey, where are you going?! Stop dividing into two when I'm talking to you! http://i.imgur.com/i5esy1i.jpg Ohmygod his head! His head just removed itself from his body!! He must had some sort of condition! And I talked to him!! What if it's infectious! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!!! http://i.imgur.com/JCqqUwL.jpg Hey, great, it's great you arrived here! Your colleague seemed to suffer from a fatal case of craniumus removalius just as I was trying to ask about this... http://i.imgur.com/FyCXVlw.jpg ...hair dryer... http://i.imgur.com/SuWRKUj.jpg Oh dear, what happened to that poor clerk! It's like everyone here is somehow weird! |
http://i.imgur.com/KhzDlUY.jpg
Look, there's no reason for you three to eye me like that! All I did was demonstrate to your colleagues my new... http://i.imgur.com/PC04Gus.jpg ...Hair dryer. http://i.imgur.com/0JKQ8wB.jpg OK, they didn't want to listen to reason! I'm out of here!! http://i.imgur.com/ArgdVpg.jpg Whew. OK, I'm all hidden here. I'll lay low until those angry clerks go back to drinking coffee on their employer's time. http://i.imgur.com/df7Nbj2.jpg I mean, they may be armed to teeth and angry, but they are working class conservatives after all. Like Joe the Plumber. http://i.imgur.com/1Q7cdq0.jpg So there's no way they're smart enough to find me here, right? http://i.imgur.com/LBP2VdQ.jpg RIGHT?! http://i.imgur.com/JB8VIUQ.jpg Look, can't we talk about this? This hair dryer must be somehow faulty, but it's not my fault as a customer that you're selling one! http://i.imgur.com/VqPxe0L.jpg Weird? It seems to really make them go napping. I must return it to the manufacturer. And file a complaint about these clerks' abysmal idea of customer service. http://i.imgur.com/rBWETHX.jpg Hey, is that a mattress in the corner? http://i.imgur.com/32yfhsB.jpg Great! I'm sure they won't mind if I test this product more thoroughly before buying it! Eight or so hours should be enough! http://i.imgur.com/8OcAHmZ.jpg Yuck, gross! Someone should call a health inspector here to see how they treat their groceries! |
http://i.imgur.com/f2Nmb4W.jpg
Hmm, a locked door? Perhaps it's the manager's office? If so, then I really have some choice words for him! http://i.imgur.com/IKD2jFe.jpg Uh, hello? Is there anyone here? More to the point, is there anyone in here with at least a BBA? http://i.imgur.com/ZCPfObX.jpg Eww! You'd think the local manager at least could manage to afford a cleaner! What a mess! http://i.imgur.com/hvS0HH9.jpg Stashing the company's products away for personal use is really not very ethical either. I'm really starting to doubt this place. http://i.imgur.com/92leWXk.jpg On the other hand, since there is no one here, I suppose they won't mind if I'll help myself to some Diazepams. They'll understand when I tell them how their employees treated me. http://i.imgur.com/8iyyqeQ.jpg Huh? I never noticed that before? I wonder what it is? http://i.imgur.com/QJgQYdy.jpg Oh! There's someone living in there! Hello there! Would you happen know where I could find this store's... http://i.imgur.com/ekmEsye.jpg ...uh, manager? http://i.imgur.com/vH8K81c.jpg Or maybe you actually are the manager here? Yes? No? Maybe? Why are you staring me? http://i.imgur.com/HV2NpsQ.jpg No! Stay away! I'm not here for job interview!!! http://i.imgur.com/BhOyg8W.jpg Whew! He or she or whatever heard something and forgot about me. That's almost reassuring. The less assuring aspect of this situation is the logic dictating that where there is someone hearing something... http://i.imgur.com/H2OPSRL.jpg There is something...or someone...making a noise. http://i.imgur.com/iuNyeb2.jpg Oh dear! Oh dear oh dear! The angry clerks called the security! It's like my prom night, except I'm not drunk at all and back home all I got was stern lecturing from the security officers and then daddy. I...I may have to...I never thought about it, but I may have to... http://i.imgur.com/F5GXZrG.jpg OK, Laura-Anne...close your eyes...you can do this...you can...you can... http://i.imgur.com/3fZDmv3.jpg While my visionary sensors are at the moment somewhat voluntarily disabled, my aural senses register a scream from the approximate direction and distance of the security officer who was just about to charge the manager and then probably beat the living light out of me. This leads me to the conclusion that the bolt of of heated air must have contacted with the target's cranial area, causing, if the old signs are to be believed, sudden dislodging of the said, rather vital piece of organs from the general body mass of the object of targeting. Which most likely means I just became a murderer. http://i.imgur.com/TVrMyw6.jpg Uh, so uh, yippi ki yay clinical Oedipus Complex patients! http://i.imgur.com/HRtGHLD.jpg WHO AM I KIDDING?! LEGS, DO YOUR STUFF!!! |
http://i.imgur.com/LtzneFq.jpg
Whew! I got a cut-away back here with no further problems. I'd better inform Wendy that her Super-Duper Mart turned out to be very weird and the sales weren't even that good. http://i.imgur.com/PfofzXI.jpg Hi, Wendy! I'm back! And you should, like, totally know that the staff at that shop is very unprofessional and didn't want to really help me or even sell me anything. How they stay in business is beyond me! http://i.imgur.com/tB3bGHz.jpg Wow, that's right! They didn't want to sell me anything, because they were hording all the best discounts for themselves! That makes, like, so much more sense now! Wendy, you're totally cool! Do you know some other places I should visit? http://i.imgur.com/3DUj4QK.jpg Wow?! Really? Like, real ghosts and all?! Ohmygod! I totally need to see that! Where is it?! http://i.imgur.com/YYFBQsO.jpg Huh? I'm not following? You're saying the ghosts are not in the town, but in the mines? But I don't want to go in a mine! They're dirty! I don't wanna ruin my make-up! http://i.imgur.com/3DNbC0H.jpg Well, I'm sure Wendy tried to help me anyway. I mean, the working class people are pretty honest usually. Lying takes certain amount of IQ, after all, according to the latest psychological papers I have read. And she was nice enough to give me some local currency for my troubles at the mall. http://i.imgur.com/llcqfFX.jpg And that can mean only one thing... http://i.imgur.com/i5vLnGj.jpg Shopping spree back on agenda!!!! Squeeeeeel!!! :D http://i.imgur.com/WiztLzO.jpg THIS PLACE BLOWS!!!! http://i.imgur.com/P3qOMIk.jpg I have scoured literally every inch of this miserable hole and there is not a single shop that would sell anything even remotely fashionable let alone manufactured ethically. http://i.imgur.com/7pZ4iU6.jpg But since Keynesian economy theories have taught me that squirreling away money is bad for the wealth of the nations, I intend to fulfill my duty as a conscious customer and spend away my worldly gains the only way these locals seem to know. http://i.imgur.com/ZRf5rqg.jpg Bartender! Give me an apple cider! http://i.imgur.com/o7Aon4Y.jpg Woooooooow... http://i.imgur.com/ZXlaKRt.jpg Wheeee, I'm a liiiiittle wooooozyyyy ooooveeeer heeereee... http://i.imgur.com/ZeI95L8.jpg I'm going to...tell the world...err...all kinds of stuff! Weheee! http://i.imgur.com/PJmQhgN.jpg Wow! The colors... http://i.imgur.com/uqAJTMq.jpg Out of my way, both of you! I OWN THIS STREET! http://i.imgur.com/nb5LW0J.jpg Ooo! Hi boys! Are you boys? No matter! Teehee! http://i.imgur.com/OKLhcCf.jpg Okay, no need to fight over me! There's plenty of me for everyone! Teehee, I think I'm drunk...eeh... |
Oh, Hotsy Totsy, you are a genius!
A sick, twisted, evil genius, but a funny one too. I missed this at first and just spent way too much time catching up. I'd complain if I wasn't laughing so hard. :rock: |
Quote:
- - - - - - - http://i.imgur.com/nXX31hj.jpg Eeeeerg... http://i.imgur.com/ZMqUJFl.jpg Teehee, oh yes captain! You can take me to any locker you want! http://i.imgur.com/8uZMR6s.jpg Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside! Oh, I do like to be beside the sea! Oh I do like to stroll u...uugh, my head...where am I? http://i.imgur.com/AtTWEp2.jpg And more importantly whatever happened to the ocean, the yacht and the rich, handsome captain I was just going to marry and have all the shoes I ever wanted in life?! http://i.imgur.com/YRVmRwI.jpg Perhaps he went to that village? Or someone saw him? I'm going to check it out! http://i.imgur.com/RHYIfHh.jpg Looks empty. You know, this wouldn't be even annoying if it wasn't like the tenth or so time this happens to me after a date. http://i.imgur.com/rYV8Xxn.jpg Nope, no one here. The whole place is dese... http://i.imgur.com/MO1fdhV.jpg ...Eeeeeeek! Who are you?! You are not my captain! You are not even handsome! Or very rich either, by the looks of it. http://i.imgur.com/HXgdOjK.jpg Hey, no need to get snarky with me! It's not my fault you're lacking something crucial to attract me. An inheritance worth a few million dollars would go a long way to fix that. What's your problem anyway?! http://i.imgur.com/wqwSSQW.jpg Huh? What the heck is a mutt ant? Some new variant of Staffordshire bull terrier? http://i.imgur.com/mnco8Rc.jpg Ooo, right, now I get it! We call them "conservatives" in English. http://i.imgur.com/NNpeasa.jpg Yeah, those right wing nuts are big on the army, you know. I, like, totally resent that and think we should just convert all the guns into plows so you working class people would be doing something more productive than killing each other with them. http://i.imgur.com/QTSVfRw.jpg Case in point. http://i.imgur.com/iPoXLdE.jpg Not to mention totally compensating something too. So uh, any decent place here to have a party? http://i.imgur.com/l8JE44a.jpg Oh, don't worry about age restrictions: I know, like, one thousand ways to lie to the bouncer about my age. Anything else? http://i.imgur.com/buBYqcN.jpg Look, there's no need for the hostility! Don't you judge me! Can't a liberal minded girl have fun every once in a while?! http://i.imgur.com/LALos85.jpg NOT THAT KIND OF FUN!!!!! |
http://i.imgur.com/7APe1Io.jpg
This place stinks! Proverbially and literally! They say it's called Big Town, but all I see is six shacks and not a single mall or even four star restaurants. What kind of lame town doesn't take care of its most basic services? http://i.imgur.com/bELn8le.jpg Asking the locals isn't very helpful either. I mean, either they don't even know the concept of having fun... http://i.imgur.com/ns1f2ex.jpg OR THEY ARE DIRTY OLD MEN!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!! http://i.imgur.com/1LePDUA.jpg These houses don't even have a cable TV. Now that's lame! How can these people ever imagine to learn anything if they don't have a TV?! http://i.imgur.com/OEsCHq3.jpg Apparently the best thing you can do here is to sleep. Boooriiiing! http://i.imgur.com/Na9tffa.jpg Hey no wait! It seems this person is not sleeping but unconscious. So there must be apple cider somewhere in here, after all! Good thing I'm a highly trained medical expert! I know that you can wake up an unconscious person by controlling the blood circulation and for that you need to press just the right spot in the wrist here. But the text book said that something should be avoided in any conditions. What was it again? I had a litle hangover when I took that exam. I think it was something about not... http://i.imgur.com/uKkTM4J.jpg ...err, pressing too hard. Hello? Mr. Heart? Are you there? ...poo... http://i.imgur.com/cZ2uFws.jpg Well, good thing I'm highly educated expert in the art of forensic science as well. I know that after something like this happens, the first step is to hide the body. http://i.imgur.com/Tgomz4R.jpg Disguising him as a table should be enough to absolve me of all guilt. http://i.imgur.com/t2mFuDx.jpg Of course it wouldn't hurt to increase the velocity of my steps into the 180 degrees direction from the crime scene by 50,635726 % either. |
http://i.imgur.com/MOpCU4y.jpg
So, about the houses: I'm sure someone here must have at least a TV somewhere. That's, like, written in the constitution, I swear. Second amendment or something. That's what the fuss is always about anyway, so it must be something important like that... http://i.imgur.com/5KSYXHq.jpg She looks smart. I'll ask her. http://i.imgur.com/UIzliCx.jpg See: I knew from the very look on her face that she was the natural leader of these working class people! http://i.imgur.com/qnazYTE.jpg Yeah I mean, like, totally! Like, blahblahblahblah... http://i.imgur.com/3ySqbnU.jpg blahblahblahblahstupidblahblahblahblahTVblahblahbl ahblahmakeupblahblahblahblah... http://i.imgur.com/Fn0KDRI.jpg blahblahblahblahyadayadayadablahblahblahblahyakyak yakblahblahblahblah... http://i.imgur.com/Y2W7cs7.jpg Blahblahblahblahboysblahblahblahblahmusclesblahbla hblahblahbutseriouslyblahbla...HUH?! http://i.imgur.com/7y7w1dD.jpg Whew! For a moment there I thought you said something important! Anyway, like, blahblahblahblahblah... http://i.imgur.com/JUP2Jgt.jpg Blahblahbla...HEY! That's, like, totally impolite! Where are your manners?! You are supposed to be interested in what I say! http://i.imgur.com/s5OUh9O.jpg Look, just because all the boys are pigs doesn't mean you can be like them! Fight the power, sister! http://i.imgur.com/zjrRYHd.jpg Yeah, that's the spirit! So then, blahblahblahblahblah... http://i.imgur.com/VwQc8z1.jpg Blahblahblahblah. Yeah, like, totally! Hey, will you tell me where's the toilet in here? I think I need to take care of some personal business. http://i.imgur.com/Yxn7bao.jpg Eww, is this what they call sanitary rooms in here? No wonder they are all smelly. I'm not touching that thing! http://i.imgur.com/HY4TfrJ.jpg That place sucked! No TV, only one smart person and not even proper toilets! I'm out of here! I'm going back to Wendy! She understands me! |
http://i.imgur.com/I5YHsSc.jpg
Uh, come to think of it, I have no idea where Wendy lives. But she can't be far away. In fact, I'm sure I'm hearing some noises from behind that rock in there. http://i.imgur.com/wNovk3w.jpg Perhaps it's her? I'd better check it out! http://i.imgur.com/Zv9Ajqo.jpg Oh! Oh my! That's no Wendy! She has much better fashion sense than to wear an old car tire on her shoulder! It must be one of those scary conservatives that dolt back in that town was talking about. http://i.imgur.com/HVWWKRp.jpg No worries! I woke up with a gun today! I'm going to scare him away with this! I hear the conservatives are very afraid of the guns and write incomprehensible rants about their fears to the Internet forums all the time. http://i.imgur.com/NcjZl6p.jpg Err, now that I think about it, I'm not sure if it was that... http://i.imgur.com/EEs3s7O.jpg ...or being afraid of losing their guns...um, stop? Please? http://i.imgur.com/BHLC2XV.jpg WHY DON'T YOU STOP?! http://i.imgur.com/Wewqe7G.jpg STOP! http://i.imgur.com/hjqiAcy.jpg Whew! It worked! I just had to use sentences short enough for his proto-brain to understand. That's nice Mr. Conservative. Just stay there now and you'll get a cookie. Okay...uh...bye and stuff... http://i.imgur.com/azZ2PGa.jpg Better proceed carefully. They might have a den somewhere in here. I heard those conservatives are big on family values and discriminating the good and honest rainbow folks. http://i.imgur.com/17CKEPq.jpg Ugh, is this what they call home? More like trailer park to me! No way I'm spending another minute in this dump! http://i.imgur.com/ReNl9AX.jpg Perhaps those good people could point me to Wendy's home? I mean, everyone reads her adventures, so they should know where she lives. http://i.imgur.com/IGLQeeE.jpg Oh, how cute. It's the local baseball team practicing. Personally I don't see appeal in sending round objects on ballistic trajectory by hitting them with over-compensating phallic symbols, but I'm sure these simple folks find much joy in it. I still have to disturb their euphoria for directions. http://i.imgur.com/6C4MYVb.jpg Um, hello? Could you tell me where...oh, hey, there's no need to come closer, I can hear you just fine from here... http://i.imgur.com/IBInFBo.jpg No, seriously, I'm sure it's a nice bat but I'm not interested in it. http://i.imgur.com/dQoei2X.jpg Don't you understand plain English?! Stop charging me!! I just want some directions to find my friend!! http://i.imgur.com/mj4Yn52.jpg STOP!!! http://i.imgur.com/o9m8Wao.jpg Whew! It worked again! Those must have been friends of those clerks in the Super-Duper Mart. I must have been put on some Disgruntled Clerks International Black List if every single underpaid customer service person here wants to act exceedingly violently towards me. http://i.imgur.com/kgrFSO9.jpg There are more of them! It's like some sort of convention they are having here or something! http://i.imgur.com/QyuMxih.jpg Okay! If a strongly worded complaint is what they want, then it is what I will give them. This time I'm not taking risk but playing their game. |
http://i.imgur.com/41j9sMD.jpg
ATTENTION, ATTENTION!! FREE COFFEE AND CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES FOR ALL THE EMPLOYEES BEHIND THE HUGE, FEATURELESS ROCK!!! http://i.imgur.com/w8LbRki.jpg My deep understanding of literary conventions lead me to conclude that this kind of situation is the proper kind to use phrases such as "hasta la vista human being between ages of zero months and twelve months!" http://i.imgur.com/zOvhteb.jpg Whew! I got one of them! But that one must be already deafened by the endless complaints of customer since she didn't hear my call. I may need to sneak closer. http://i.imgur.com/rfitvQ6.jpg Poo! She's not here anymore! She went into that house and I can clearly hear them laughing at me there. But it appears they haven't noticed me yet. Good thing I studied extensive military tactics theory one night when I was locked in the toilet with nothing else to read for eight hours. http://i.imgur.com/IZIjbCL.jpg It said it's important to conceal yourself from the enemy and blend with the environment. I'm therefore concealing as a rock. http://i.imgur.com/o0gfYP1.jpg Okay, what did it say about aiming? Right! Deep breath, focus, hold breath... http://i.imgur.com/rikKHv5.jpg And pull the trigger. http://i.imgur.com/QG5eSH7.jpg Victory for the reason and science once more. I just wish the book had told me when can I stop holding my breath. It's starting to get really awkward... http://i.imgur.com/Nx5t6D1.jpg Oh! This I have seen in the books about romantic cruises under the warm sun on wooden sail ships and with mysterious, muscular men who like parrots a lot. It's called "O-C-E-A-N"...though I think the books claimed it would be a little bigger? Since I don't have a yacht with me, let alone know how to traverse such body of water without suffering from severe case of asphyxia, I need to find another way to cross it. I could try constructing some sort of device to reverse the laws of physics, but that would take too many hours. There must be a more convenient solution. http://i.imgur.com/yF2BHXm.jpg Such as a bridge, I suppose? http://i.imgur.com/by7rDSM.jpg Sheesh, they couldn't build it any closer. It's like million degrees here and with this pace I could have as well build that machine. I should...wait a moment?! http://i.imgur.com/8BTIRIZ.jpg Animal cruelty! Starved bovines! Mistreated cows! Too tight living conditions! Industrialized meat production! http://i.imgur.com/qougGV5.jpg CHAAARGE!!! http://i.imgur.com/iq9F8bi.jpg Evil doers! Your days of unethical cattle handling are over! Prepare to meet your maker in whatever weird Hell you world ruining meat eaters belong! I am the shining beacon of rigid moral codes forced upon the others and nothing is going to save you from my self-serving wrath!! http://i.imgur.com/51iaB75.jpg Oh? Nevermind then... http://i.imgur.com/umoosyP.jpg Yeah, I could like sort of tell by your animals. How did you treat them anyway?! http://i.imgur.com/wtUjwfo.jpg These people know more about the animal abusers! Very well! My moral crusade shall know no prisoners! |
OK, junkies, here's finally your fix for today. Blame the Arma group for depriving me of sleep. Which in practice means blame yourselves, since I reckon you make up at least 95 % of this inane fable's readership. :shifty:
- - - - - - - - http://i.imgur.com/849uNqO.jpg Open up, forces of ev...whuh? http://i.imgur.com/0TPIFar.jpg Hey!? You don't look evil. I mean, you don't even have a goatee and you're nice to me? What gives? Where are the ones responsible for the excessive fauna cruelty? http://i.imgur.com/NOxXU1Z.jpg Aha! So you admit being in league with them after all! I knew it all along! Then allow me to say a few words about blahblahblahethicsblahblahblahslavelaborblahblahbl ahsoapoperasblahblahblahgayrightsblahblahblahabort ionblahblahblah... http://i.imgur.com/xfrnZ8d.jpg Blahblahbl...huh? Who are you?! Oppressive male chauvinist pig trying to get into my pants by artificially exploiting the ga...uh, world mechanics and making me talk to you instead of your wife?! Not working! Get out of my face! http://i.imgur.com/Fl9Q1Uq.jpg OK, I think I put the fear of left wing authority in their hearts. But my quest to make the world a better place by having everyone agree with me is never over. Next! http://i.imgur.com/jLtdA72.jpg Wasteland Animal Rights Watch! Open up! http://i.imgur.com/2sFGqB2.jpg WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU?! RESPECT WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU!! I'M COMING IN THERE, WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT... ...As soon as I figure how this weird obstacle on my way is opened again... http://i.imgur.com/L0Pab3f.jpg Bah, on second thought we already did the door opening scene and I hate reruns. Next! http://i.imgur.com/7Af50lU.jpg Hello? Is there anyone... http://i.imgur.com/jc1RJh4.jpg GAAAH! ZOMBIES!!!! http://i.imgur.com/xT4LNPt.jpg AAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://i.imgur.com/RiCCrEN.jpg HEEEEEEELP!!!!!!! http://i.imgur.com/Xhe1p5p.jpg YOU CAN'T EAT MY BRAIN!!!! I'M TOO ATTACHED TO IT!!!! I'M...I'M... http://i.imgur.com/3SMbZYn.jpg Quickly finding out why I should have been more interested in the laws of physics back in high school, it seems... http://i.imgur.com/OvnrsbT.jpg Uh, where's the surface again? http://i.imgur.com/WyA1qDj.jpg Hey, I landed in the Ocean. Cool! It appears I can fly in water! Like the Wonder Woman!! Plus based on my in depth study of folklore motifs, I'm sure the zombies can't cross running water, so I should be safe now. http://i.imgur.com/gNKPFem.jpg That was a silly place. Back to adventuring and looking for Wendy. |
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