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Did you hear about the two ladies who went for a tramp in the woods?
He got away. |
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
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The butcher backed into his meat grinder. He got a little behind in his work.
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What's the difference between an ambassador and a dog in the summer?
An ambassador wears full dress, a dog in the summer, just pants. |
What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.
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Man walks into a Greek tailor shop. Tailor looks at the visitor's pants and says "Euripides?"
Man replies, "Yes, Eumenides?" <Gryllidae stridulation> :D |
I remember having to help a friend trim the fur off his little canine companion. It was a moment of shear terrier.
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When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"
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I used to be a nun, but I got expelled because of my dirty habits.
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You can't be a nun; you gotta be somethin'...
Tip of the hat to Curly: Well, she was bred in old Kentuck, but she's just a crumb back here... |
I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it.
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I was reading a book on the Falklands War the other day. What an argy-bargy!
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I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
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Two men walk into a bar, they need stitches now.
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I trained as an executioner, but I just coudn't get the hang of it.
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