Granted, but it prospers by emptying your bank accounts, maxing out your credit cards and selling your principle abode.

I wish to discover intelligent life on earth.

Granted - but it turns out to be mice just like the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy predicted - and boy are those little buggers NOT happy.

I wish Scotty would beam me up.

Granted. You are now a crew member aboard the USS Enterprise. Unfortunately you're wearing a red shirt and have just been called for a shore mission.

I wish I had my own cat.

Granted, you have your very own Sabre Toothed Cat and as you are having problems finding the 200lb of meat it eats every day you are looking pretty tasty to it.

I wish Steve didn't have that cat.

Granted, his cat is replaced by a gorilla

I wish the facts matched the theory

Granted, but only theoretically.

I wish the outcome was worth the effort.

Granted. Postin your wish is nearly effortless. Watching it get crushed mercilessly is equally effortless, yet worth it every time.

I wish stopping by to crush jimbuna's dream wasn't going to make me late for school.

Granted, too bad that being on time meant that you were at school when the entire building mysteriously vanished from the space time continuum with everybody in it.

I wish eggs came from eggplants.

Granted, but they already do ...

http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,777073,00.jpg

I wish I could mustard up my courage http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...port/drool.gif

granted, now your courage tastes like a spawnfull of Löwensenf mustard

I wish Löwensenf mustard weren't as hot

Granted, it's now thoroughly room-temprature.

I wish...Okay, maybe not...

Aborting your wish does no good, it is still Granted and automatically Crushed and then Mutilated, Burned, Chopped, Diced, Buried, dug up again and eaten by a drunken porcupine.

I wish digital cameras still used film.

Granted, digital cameras now save their digital videos on film, leaving you with a nice useless film filled with only 1s and 0s

I wish computers would count in the digital system instead of in binary

granted... and oops... only yours... makeing it extremly in effecent, and confused...

I wish I had all I ever wanted

Granted, it is all going to be delivered to your current location in 3...2...1...

I wish the topgallants were open