Ahem, this is serious business, Mohr. You must do your duty as an officer in the Kriegsmarine. :stare:

Sweet Jesus make it stop :cry:

okok. i shal do a recon and send the needed data to BDU personaly. :shifty:
dont you ever lough...

From: Krvtkpt Mohr
to: BDU and Balz

i already did this port. in GWX and WAC... no subnets or minefields. only VERRY shallow parts.

if you cant maneuver your boat VERRY good then i reccomand you to stay our of there. one turn can end on land and dead :-?

luckaly for me i did maneuver my boat good and got in and out without damage :arrgh!:


i wish herr balz much luck and hope he make's a wrong turn though ;) :rotfl:

Urgent mission update to J.S Balz.
From BDU -- URGENT.


We want you to sink the Hood and make it look like it was the Bismarcks doing.:arrgh!:

Well done, Kvtkpt. Mohr. BTW congratz on your promotion :D .

From: Kptlt. VolvicCH (Officer commanding) U-47 (somewhere north of Ireland)
To: BDU and J.S. Balz.

Sir.

You are my hero. I follow your exploits at sea on a monthly basis, by newsreels in the cinema in Lorient whenever I am in port. I have started to put aside money for the release of "Hoochie-woochie" grammophone, which, I understand, is to be released shortly. I have sent a letter to the Fuhrer, asking for his permission to rename my three sons Alfred, Hermann and Bernard to Johann, Sebastian and Balz upon my return to Das Vaterland. I eagerly await his reply. In the meantime, I will have to come up with some way to return to port as my boat currently has no conningtower, diesels or batteries. My crew is currently stitching together a cunning disguise for our boat. Using all the linen onboard, we have managed to camouflage our stricken boat in such a manner that it resembles a blue whale. I am confindent that this will allow us to escape detection by the evil and insipid Tommies. When we see each other in port, the first bottle of scnapps is on me. Untill then, I salute you.


Kind regards
Kptlt. VolvicCH

From Kptlt J.S. Balz

Ach! Another man of towering intellect and good taste. Having a party coordinator will elevate these soirees to the level my greatness deserves. :smug: I urgently need another party before those nitwit admirals send me off on some ill-concieved operation.

Frm Kptlt. J.S. Balz
Herr VolvicCH, you obviously have excellent judgement in selecting your heroes. There is really no one better to admire than ME. :smug:
Wishing you a safe return and looking forward to that Schnapps.

Kptlt. J.S. Balz

bah... i better didnt gave him the info... :shifty:
damn ego bastard

No Stinkin' Hood!!
 

A smelly HMS at the entrance to Portsmouth Naval Base.
http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o...e/fsscr944.jpg


From Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz
To BDU
2 Nov. 1940.

After studying carefully the patrol patterns of the destroyers for half a night and one day, Demonstrating my superior skill, I went into Portsmouth as ordered. Toured the harbour undetected. 2 destroyers, 1 medium cargo, 2 small freighters and a light tanker were spotted. But no stinking Hood. Considering the narrow channel entrance and the 3 destroyers patrolling outside the channel. It was not worth waking up the RN.

Since my orders were to sink the Hood, again using superior stealth technique, I took my valuable sumbie out of this potential death trap to hunt the Hood elswhere. The people of Germany can sleep peacefully while the great Balz is at sea.:smug:

Although I did not encounter any problems I'll repeat Brag's recommendation. Stay out of Der Kanal!!

Everyone rejoice. Balz will be back, back, back!

Maybe CptZap can organize a PPP (Post Portsmouth Party)

you disobeyed orders. your secondary objective was sinking MERCIE'S ! :stare:
execution squad in ready herr balz (seems like we finaly gonne get rid of you :arrgh!:)

Hehe -- Still pursuing primary objective, your lordship :smug:

From Hans Offen, special correspondent.

Our U-boat sails out of Lorient shortly after dark. At first there is a relaxed, almost holiday feeling in the submarine. Captain Balz is on the bridge, still wearing his bowler's hat. "When you're the best, it always feels good to sail," he says, perhaps ironically.

We travel at full speed ahead rounding the brittany coast. By morning we are in the dreaded Der Kanal and we dive. The routine aboard the sub is: some people sleep, others play cards.

By evening, northwest of Cherbourg, we surface and dash for the Island of Whigt. At 2317 we sight the British Island. Hugging the shore we submerge. The Hidrophone operator reports several targets. We round the island and surface to replenish air.

At first light we submerge again. Captain Balz and the navigator work at the plotting table mapping the patrol patterns of 3 enemy destroyers guarding the approaches into Portsmouth.

By noon, Captain Balz says, "Here's the hoochie woochie." His finger rests on a one thousand meter gap between patrol areas.

"We hardly need change course to get into that bottleneck," Balz says. It's the hoochie woochie."

After dark, the submarine raises, its decks awash. The batteries are doing great but the air needs refreshing. Half way across to the entrance to Portsmouth, Balz orders periscope depth and silent running.

We can hear a destroyer not far.

An hour later we are in the channel into Porstmouth.

"Sheisse." Balz says as he orders the periscope down. "The BDU idiots sent us on a fools errand. He turns to me, smiles, and says. "Who did you piss off in Berlin to get this assignment?"

We wait till nightfall, surface to get some air, then dive and get back out. I was allowed a quick view of England on the periscope. A rare reward nowadays.

:shifty: you left the harbour after you saw there was no Hood... wich wasnt your objective.