Granted, the end of the world comes on Friday, so we have even less time to spend the rest of our lives

I wish the end wasn't so near

Granted, it's now far far away.

I wish wisdom was hereditary.

Granted, your kids say that 2+2=5

I wish Jimbuna stopped using phrase "fair and square" when it comes to L.H

Granted, he uses the phrase "death to the infidels" instead

I wish communists were more combustible

Granted, communists are more combustible, with the uninteded side effect of causing all news broadcasters, artists, teachers and actors to burst into flames all at once leaving us nothing to watch on TV or in the theaters and no one to teach us how to not call each other bad names before we even know what those names mean and leaving us all bored to death (literally)

I wish being bored was more fun (and healthy)

Granted, but only if you manage to keep your trousers on and escape the 'borer'.

I wish square pegs would fit round holes.

Granted, the fat bitch that sits opposite you is now inserting a large square peg into one of your round holes

I wish Jims round hole was well lubricated

Granted, the hole was well lubricated but the lubricant was out-of-date

I wish there was no good lubricant close at hand

Granted, margerine will have to do.

I wish the mackums no luck at all.

Granted, Mackums have no luck at all, and by the way, you find out you were adopted and your birth mother's last name was Mackum.

I wish the network stations would have a massive, widespread power outtage...lasting exactly 12.2 hours.

Granted the network stations have a massive, widespread power outtage...lasting exactly 12.2 hours. During this outage however there is wide spread flood, tornados, fires, famine...had the networks been on you would have been able to tune in in your area for details....however you perish do to lack of knowledge....

I wish lack of knowledge was a good thing sometimes...

KD

Granted, lack of knowledge is a good thing sometimes but ignorance is bliss and you are now the most blissful person in the world

I wish the candidates good luck

Granted, but John McCain loses the election and dies.

I wish Obama's grandmother didn't die.:cry:

Granted, his grandmother doesn't die, but he loses the election because of the loss of symapthy votes

I wish people knew when to leave well enough alone

Granted, they now pester well enoughs sister instead.

I wish the US election had of been a tie/draw.

Granted, in its aftermath would spark a Second Civil War...

I wish I hadn't spent money this day...

Granted, you are destitute so you couldn't have anyway.

I wish, I wish, my kingdom for a horse.

Granted you get your horse for a kingdom...although this horse comes in the way of a Trojan Horse...your high tech super cooled computer melts down causing a fire on the otherside of the pond equivelant to the subsim fire in Tx...We're Doomed I tell ya....


I wish Jimbo has fire insurance that's up-to-date...

KD

Granted, Jimbo has fire insurance that's up-to-date, but the up-to date was the day before the fire

I wish that bat guano wasn't such an environmental hazard

Granted, but as a result it is also completely useless in making gunpowder

I wish gunpowder didn't require saltpeter or anything else to make