Granted, but your get tired of holding onto yourself

I wish AK47's were freely available to all

Granted, but then I get arrested for murdering the bastid that bumped my new car whilst I was at work.

I wish murder for car bumpers wasn't a criminal offence in the UK.

Granted, it's a criminal offense in the new world-empire that rules the UK

I wish the LHC doom-sayers would die

Granted, they die when they are proved right and the LHC implodes the universe.

I wish I could press the big red START button to turn on the LHC.

Granted, but the Red Button is the one that turns on the air conditioner, not the accelerator

I wish I hadn't walked right into the last one

Granted due to an accident involving a particle accellerator a rubber band
and a liquid lunch, you are caught in a causality loop and run into headlong
repeatedly at the speed of light for as long as we can maintain power.

I wish I had a liquid lunch and a particle accelerator.:hmm:

Gtanted, but you end up wetting your pants.

I wish fried fish were still able to swim.

Granted, they can swim for as long as they want before hitting the bottom

I wish to rob a train full of non-diet/whatever Coca Cola bottles without getting cought

Granted, but since you misspelled "caught", the police show up and a deadly shoot-out ensues. The train is on a bridge that stands over a deep gorge. Out of ammunition and facing a life sentence, you jump off and are killed when your body falls about 350 feet below onto a jagged slab of rock.

Agh, I had a feeling something was wrong there :damn:

Ah, well, make a vish

I wish that "M*A*S*H" was still on the air.

Granted, but since the original cast members are either geriatric or deceased, the network replaces them with characters from The Simpson's in CGI. Marge Simpson is Hot Lips, Principal Skinner is Radar and senior bully Nelson Muntz is LCol Potter. The show is so bad that most veiwers commit suicide before the first commercial. For some reason you love it and are pleased to learn that they have ordered 150 episodes.

I wish network TV didn't suck quite so badly.

Granted network tv sucks just a little less in area of new south wales
for a second.

I wish that The learning Channel was still teaching me stuff
like connections or the operations instead of being ambulance
chaser biker tv.

Granted but then seal clubbing wouldn't be a reality and we would be watching old ladies knit quilts for hours, whilst some guy paints water coors in the background.


I wish seals could have rifles for a day....

Granted but then seal clubbing wouldn't be a reality and we would be watching old ladies knit quilts for hours, whilst some guy paints water colors in the background.


I wish seals could have rifles for a day....