A. Have you seen those Roman and Greek buildings, thousands of years old and still not finished.

Q. Why are they called 'light-house' instead of a more accurate description of 'light-tower'?

Because the lighthouse keeper lives there.

Have you got a light boy?

In my other trousers.

Are zebras black with white stripes or white with black stripes?

That depends on whether their travelling left to right or right to left.

Precisely who or what was the definitive sinker of the Bismarck?

An explosion.

How many explosions caused the sinking of the Bismarck?

The last one.

Can you name the highest ranking survivor?

Yes.

Can you?

Of course...Burkard von Müllenheim-Rechberg

Now can you name the next highest in rank?

Not without looking it up. And he wasn't the same rank as Admiral Tovey who also survived the engagement.:O:

Can you be more specific about which side's survivor's you mean next time.

Only if you ask nicely.:O:

Can you unscrew the inscrutable or eff at the ineffable?

Of course, everyone can.

Why do the signs that say "slow children" have a picture of a running child?

Because they know you're coming!

Why is it such a pain to get a printer networked between a 32 and 64 bit OS on a home LAN?

Because the printer's jammed full of paperclips.

If 2's a company and 3's a crowd why do threesomes work?

Because variety is the spice of life.

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Because John Logie Baird originally envisioned people having three televisions side-by-side, making a 'set', each with a very slightly different image. When viewed through specially designed glasses, they would have given what he termed 'tri-scopic' vision, which was due to be the biggest breakthrough in TV since the TV was invented (by him). Unfortunately the whole idea was dropped when JLB realised people would need three eyes for it to work.

Can anyone lend me a fiver?