Granted, it isn't...is is now everyone's emergency.

I wish boomers were bigger.

Granted, boomers are bigger. The number of letters has been increased by one and boomers are now bloomers

I wish my bloomers had lots of pretty missiles

Granted, but some of them missiles are targetted at uranus.

I wish monopoly money was legal tender.

Granted, but you draw a "GO-TO-JAIL!" card, and you lose all your hotels. Deeply depressed, you commit suicide as the stock market crashes.

I wish that I could force Bobby McFerrin to dish out any tune I requested of him.

Granted, however for some reason you keep requesting "Don't worry, Be Happy" ad infinitum.

I wish Bobby McFerrin would sing something other than what Stealth Hunter keeps requesting.

Granted, you will now be treated to endless Bobby McFerrin repititions of the theme song to Gilligan's Island. Enjoy.

I wish that the ridiculous was actually sublime.

Granted, there are subliminal messages buried in the ridiculous and the next thing you know, you are putting on makeup and sauntering up to JB telling him you are his bit#@.

I wish Sarah Palin didn't have such good looking legs in her short leather skirt...

Granted, she now has legs that resemble the arms of a gorilla....all the better to hug you with.

I wish politicians were truthful, honest and sincere.

Granted but now they are your parents...



I wish RR technology would allow me to be in Houston in one hour for about 45 bux....

Granted, it allows you to be all over Houston in very small pieces

I wish that German armor was made out of swiss cheese and unable to defend across rivers

Granted but the chief ingredient in Swiss Cheese is Krupp face-hardened, high-carbon, cemented steel armour plate. And global warming has dried up all the rivers.

I wish that a stich in time did in fact, save nine...

Granted, but it only saves nine cents in monetary terms.

I wish silence was golden.

Granted, and therefore hurts a lot when dropped from a great height

I wish you could drop golden silence

Granted, but then it shatters the outer shell and it turns into green goo.

I wish golden raisins were not silent.

Granted, but that means only you can hear them talk. People see you having hour-long conversations with raisins. They commit you to a mental institution where you spend the rest of your life, heavily sedated (just like the guy who killed John Lennon; he used to perform guitar concerts for "little people" who lived in his walls).

I wish that Lt. Bojangles would fit in with the rest of the company:

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g1...I/pie_face.gif

Granted, now the rest of Lt. Bojangles company starts wearing clown apperal, not good for camoflauge.

I wish steed would get shot through time and space.:D :lol:

Granted, but he causes them to rip apart, thus destroying all that is and ever will be.

I wish that Empire: Total War would come out already.


(That logic is flawed. See, they're gonna be looking for soldiers; they'll NEVER suspect clowns.):yep:

Granted, it is released, but it has more bugs than any other game ever made.

I wish I had one of these:lurk: .:D

Granted, but the pressure hull fails, and you sink to the bottom, trapped and unable to escape. You suffocate a few hours later.

I wish that I had a flying horse.

Granted but it will only fly as far as your patented Horse-Flinger brand Long-Range Trebuchet will throw it, about 250 metres with a tail wind. Landings are tricky too...

I wish Cats could talk.