Lisa Simpson: Ralph can't be president. He's the dumbest person on the dumbest percentile group.
Homer Simpson: A president doesn't have to be smart. All he has to do is point the army and shoot.
Lisa Simpson: But he's eight, and the Constitution says you have to be thirty-five to be president.
Bart Simpson: Lis, I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed the Constitution to protect our rights.
- from The Simpsons episode E Pluribus Wiggum

I would never die for my beliefs, because I might be wrong. ]

--Bertrand Russell

Venienti occurrite morbo
Meet the misfortune as it comes
-Aulus Persius Flaccus

What the F>>K are you doing?
you have 3 broken ribs, you can barely breathe and you're lighting a cigarette
You're crazy.
-my girlfriend, 10 minutes ago

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-- Winston Spencer Churshill (replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!')

Jim, ya gotta read the thread.

Especially #60.

Aw come on...cut a guy a little slack, mine was historically accurate.

Mind you, I concede I didn't check back...but does anybody :-?

Off with their heads!
Queen of Hearts
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

LMAO :rotfl:

Jump down the guy's throat now. You can always apologize later.
-seems to be my motto these days.

I've used the ':rotfl: ' so much I must have the skinniest 'A' in town.

NOT!

There you go beating yourself up again when there is absolutely no need. Here, let me give you a hand.

--Jimbuna :rotfl:

http://www.kaijuhq.org/crow2.gif

I want to decide who lives and who dies

Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000

My favorite bumper sticker quote

"Support Lap Dancing.".

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.

-- Helen Rowland

One of my favourite bumper stickers read' Humpty was pushed