The UK government has recently referred to payday loan companies as “idiotic” for trying to target children and get them into debt. I agree, everyone knows the best way to get a child into debt is to offer them a student loan.

Earlier today Prince Philip sent a message to the President wishing him a happy Independence Day. His message said “You did a great job destroying the alien mothership and humanity is forever grateful.”

Hein Döskopp meets his doctor and tells him: "My pointing finger, it is crooked and stiff, I don't know what it is." The doctor says "May I see it?", and Hein raises his hand and shows his finger and yes, the pointing finger is crooked like a fishing hook, and stiff. And the doctor grabs it and tries to pull it and bend it and move it, but all effort is to no avail. Says the doctor: "This is weired, I have no idea what and why it is so. How was your finger before?" And Hein stretches his finger straight and says: "Like this."

Tried to do some bitcoin mining last night, I now have a pickaxe stuck in my PC.

Just been arrested at the airport. Apparently “How many do you need?” is a bad response to the question “Do you have any firearms?”

I heard on the radio today that a warlord in Afghanistan has purchased over 3 million poppies. It’s great to see Islamic military leaders showing their respect to the British Armed Forces.

Just seen Simon Cowell drowning in my local swimming pool so I saved him ……….. as my profile picture on facebook.

What do Santa Claus and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They can both be in two places at once.

David Hasselhoff told his agent that he wants to be known as Hoff from now on..

Agent: Sure David. No hassle.

Just seen a load of unemployed foreigners hanging around in the streets begging for food. The sooner these Canadian Geese fly off back to where they came from the better.

I have stopped trying to donate blood.

They ask too many embarrassing questions these days

"Where did you get the blood?"
"Whose blood was this?"

You related to my cat? :hmmm:

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/show...&postcount=330

The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession.