Granted, but your looking in the wrong area, you need to lower his trousers for easier access.

I wish I understood what I was thinking.

Granted, after understanding it you realise that is all bullshi* so you stop thinking.

I wish Jimuna's post counter was broken and stopped at 19,999

Granted but then the board breaks and every time he makes another post, everyone else's post count goes down.

I wish everyone would stop picking on TJ and start picking on me.

Granted, we will come over tomorrow to pick up your computer, 60" LCD TV and that nice sofa

I wish you wished I wished something

Granted but wish wishing for a third-party wishes places you in violation of the wish fulfillment clauses of the sacred collective agreement with the Genies, Magic Sprites and Leprechaun Union Local 1771. This causes a wildcat strike in protest and you are torn apart by a litter of wildcats.

I wish people were less careful of what they wish for.

Granted...now people wish stupid wishes and you being the only person left on earth carry a herpes simplex 10 virus...global warming doesn't cure it and now you and all the animals left on earth suffer....

I wished that there was a cure for herpes simplex 10

Granted, but seeing as how you are riddled with syphilis, the cure is of absolutely no use to you.

I wish I owned the patent to a cure for the common cold.

Granted, you own the patent to a cure for the common cold, but no one gets a common cold any more, they get the uncommon one, so the cure is for nothing and the patent is worthless

I wish I knew where I left my sanity

Granted, drop your trousers and bend over, then I should be able to replace it for you ;)

I wish I had a tin of tartan paint.

Granted, but you left the lid off and it completely solidified and is useless.

I wish ales and stouts could be used as tartan paint thinner.

Granted but people start drinking paint and turn there teeth pretty colors.

I wish for one dollar and twenty cent.:up:

Granted, but they are Zimbabwean dollars and are therefore worthless.

I wish my every desire was achievable.

Granted but you spend all your money while doing so and find out what it it is like to live in a cardboard box.;)

I wish I had $5 dollars and I was sitting in my house in the US.:D

Granted but $5.00 is all you have and your mortgage just went up. You will be evicted and on the street soon.

I wish we could get some smart people in congress who really care about doing a good job for the country.

Granted but they dont care about you.;)

I wish for a scrambled egg, fully cooked with the sunny side up made perfectly the way I like them. With a nice glass of tea, and a pice of toast with butter and Jelly on it for breakfast tomorrow.:rock: :D

Granted, you have a scrambled egg, fully cooked with the sunny side up made perfectly the way you like them, with a nice glass of tea, and a piece of toast with butter and Jelly on it for breakfast tomorrow, but since, at midnight, tomorrow becomes today, you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get it

I wish I knew what i was talking about

Granted but you still dont understand.

I wish I had a new Joystick so I can get back in the Sky with the IL2 people.:D

Granted, but the IL2 people just shoot you down cos they are jealous of your new joystick.

I wish it did what it said on the tin

New Page, new dreams to crush...

Granted but what it says on the tin is "Contents: Hellspawn, anthrax, botulism toxin, nerve gas, mustard gas, flatulence odour, dog and cat breath, vindaloo and black lung. Open this tin and you will die horribly. Use only as directed. Keep out of reach of children. Store in a cool dry place out of direct sunlight. For special offers call 1-877-NOW-U-DIE."

I wish for a machine that can convert politicians into degenerate matter on demand.

Granted there is now a machine that can convert politicians into degenerate matter on demand...however the matter is now a huge pile os sheet..piled as high as the Washington monument.

I wished Youtube wasn't on the Safe Filter here at work....