Granted, you get the free Tar and Glue cake

I wish my computer would reformat itself when I want it to

Granted, but all of your precious files and data are lost forever...

I wish for higher quality sound effects...

Granted, but there so high it is your hearing they affect.

I wish my itches were scratchable.

Granted, but it just makes them worse

I wish the Berlin Wall would fall

Granted, but it falls on top of you.

I wish mans next flight to the moon is in a hot air balloon.

Granted, but it is you who makes the trip

I wish the Geico lizard would get run over by a Peterbilt

granted he does but its ten years ago and it was your truck
due to his potential earnings for them the third largest insurer
in the U.S. sic's all of their lawers on you leaving you and all
your decendebts for two hundred generations bankrupt.

I wish D.T. Had a sense of humour about such things.

Granted but the type of humor (spelled the american way sorry) possessed is putrid and green, full of slime and a gooey, brownish and foul smelling substance that makes the dregs of an overripe garbage smell like a fine frency perfume by comparison.

I wish my left hand was working better...

Granted, your left hand is working better, but it's attached to your right wrist

I wish I knew the meaning of life

Granted, 42. Now you have to look for the question.


I wish Subway had cheaper (but still quality) sammiches.

Granted, but the sammiches use salmonella-contaminated tomatoes.

I wish that my enemies all contracted typhus.

Granted, but since your wors't enemy is yourself...

I wish I could refill my glass of coke from the bottle in the fridge without having to get up

Granted, but the catheter starts to become painful

I wish for more sport on TV

Granted all australian tv is now completely given over
to synchronized swimming.

I wish I had to Bocci channel.

Granted, but you can only view it in the Swahili language.

I wish temptation was irresistable.