Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

For me the Subsim Calendar is stuck on December 2022 and won't move forward....Anyone else having this problem??

He's clever he has made the calendar so...so...you have to download an addon to your calendar so it moves forward to January 2023-Problem is this addon cost 4 times more than the calendar cost.

Markus

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.

When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.