Granted but its a memory suddenly crystal clear and persistent
of the time when you woke up at the bottom of latrine hole the
morning after chilly night paralyzed from the after affects of
tequila and unable to speak to try and save yourself from the
platoon above you all you can do is wonder where the yellow
Heels and gold glitter pasties your wearing came from, while
Black Sabbath plays the mob rules between your temples full
blast and your buddies do their best impression of Hells Home
delivery

I wish I had some maple syrop.

Granted, what a coincidence, you can have some of mine.....a colleague returned from Canada yesterday with a box of maple syrup biscuits made by a company called Turkey Hill.

I wish my colleague had brought me back a bottle of Canadian dark rum instead.

Granted, but he drunk it all himself, right in front of you

I wish Wonderland wasn't ruled by the tyrannical Queen of Hearts

Granted now it's ruled by a well known weird guy with a black mustache and you are his personal servant.

I wish I wasn't that bored.

Granted, your only slightly disturbed now.

I wish there was muck in money.

Granted, your money is now mucky and a government audit determines that mucky money has to be dirty money. All that you own is seized and sold at auction for a fraction of its value. Except for the maple sugar biscuits. You get to keep those.

Opened a book this morning and a $20.00 bill fell out. I wish that happened a lot more often.

Granted, but it's a pity the legal currency in your country is the Zloty.

I wish my thermometer could measure distance.

Granted, it can measure distance since it is a rectal thermometer

I wish I'd get off my arse and do something productive

Granted, good luck robbing that bank :up:

I wish it worked

granted heres some viagra

I wish I had two ZMKB Progress (ivchyenko) D-27 Propfans
for my lightning (13800shp)

Granted, but my jet is faster anyway

I wish I wasn't just a figment of your collective imagination

Granted, your existance has been deleted from our collective imaginations and you no longer exist.

I wish reality didn't bite so often.

Granted now it just licks you *all over* again and again.

I wish word processors could just read my mind and write what needs to be written

Ganted they do but all of your thoughts come out on your wife's printer
at the office.

I wish wishing were not so complicated now.

Granted, wishing has now become extremely simple. Crushing them is growing increasingly complex however since there is only a finite number of methods that can be used to destroy the Universe or even our Swirling Whirlpool of Death galaxy. Or maybe not.

I wish this pencil had a built in spell checker.