Granted but you are over there>>>>>> as well and when you're not looking he fires a pizza registering 8.6 into the back of your head.

I wish an magnitude 8.6 pizza has pepperoni on it.

Granted, 8.6 magnitude pizza has pepperoni on it, but the pepperoni only registers .2 on the scale. The pizza is therefore unbalanced and falls off the table where the wolfhounds who have been circling gobble it up and then decide to chew off your left leg

I wish the sun would come out

Granted, it came out all the way over here

I wish my bunker for protection against T-H-E-M was ready

Granted it is but as they were the outsourcers you used to build
it they made a secret entrence you cant ever find as the door
is in another dimension while the door on your side is like an
antrap and only lets you in theres no way to get out and the
evil aliens come nightly and torment you with soggy tea biscuits
and strange pizza's made of raw dough and boiled eggplant with
no cheese and with only poppyseeds for trimmings. these pizzas
are delivered to you in an obscene method not fit to print here and register
9.0 on the Richter scale.

I wish I had a richter scale so I could see the look
on raptors face night one.

Granted, but you scale goes:

A-B-C-D-E-F-G

I wish my scale included two new notes: H and J.

Granted but they are called the Hekyl and Jekyl notes because
whenever you play one its the other you need to play.

I wish I had a field of Improbabity surrounding my starship

Granted, but due to the improbable nature of it, it turns into a bowl of custard-covered Vogons who are reciting poetry at you.

I wish Douglas Adams was still alive.

:oops:Heres your default wish of a slap with a trout.

I wish I had a salmon of doubt.

Granted but it causes you an artichoke of pain.

I wish there was a stairway to heaven.

Granted, there is, but there are no handrails and it's awfully icy and windy above about 10,000 feet

I wish the earth was made of peanut butter

Granted but an interdimensional hyperintelligent shade of the colour
blue uses it to bake cookies in a nearby quasar.

I wish compulsive cleaners like my beloved would realize the planet
is made of dirt, where are they gonna put it all?

Granted, she puts it in your sandwiches.

I wish the end game commenced at the beginning.

Granted, that means you proceed from loser to not involved at all. This creates a game-theory paradox wherein this and that result in the next thing and Oh, look, somebody dumped dirty peanut butter on the board. That's gonna be tough to clean up. Now you have to start all over again at the end.

I wish there was a wine called The Bottle of Verdun.

Granted there is but its followed up with a chaser of
Bloody nose ridge saki

I wish I hadnt come all this way for saki light

Granted and now your bored silly

I wish the answer to the great question, do women really fake it.