Granted but your the star of the hottest porn film in years.

I wish sales of the film rocket so we can have a bigger sex orgy.

Granted, but as it gains popularity it is banned universally and you are forced to live on the streets

I wish evil manifested itself in something that doesn't have "Microsoft" on it

Granted, it now manifests itself in McDonalds.

I wish STEED would come out of the closet and be honest with people.

Granted, he already said that he ccame out of the closet..remember him and Tony Blairs marraige 200-300 posts back?

I wish I didnt get drunk at their wedding.

Granted, you don't get drunk at their wedding, you get drunk at their honeymoon instead while you are making a film of the whole thing

I wish that I never have to watch that film

Granted, instead it is implanted into your brain where the images come to dominate your existance.

I wish I had a Acme Super Planet-Eating Black Hole Generator (Patent Pending).

Granted, but it doesnt work.

I wish spys would stop sappin' ma sentry.

Granted they take out your palace guard to a man today for a change
facilitating the complete subjugation of Ubootecomradeland by the
Martinite's.


I wish there were a rival for My Golden Horde

Granted, there is a rival to your Golden Horde. It is the Golden Shower and it's raining on MushyLand now.

I wish not to be in MushyLand while the Golden Shower is raining on it.

Granted, you are now in Ubootcomradeland, just in time for national "shoot the strangers" day.

I wish for the glorious airforce of Ubootcomradeland to be equipped with Zeppelin-dreadnoughts to take part in the soon-to-be invasion of mushyland.

Granted but of course in waiting for you in mushy land is the still
dry Golden Horde in their standard gear wich is proofed against
ice picks razors knives bullets artillery bombs fire thermite thermate
direct Gazzillion Terraton direct nuclear hits Anti matter bombs
photon torpedos Space Rotation bombs nova supernovae Gamma ray
bursters Black holes super black holes mega ultra black galaxy strings
and Galactus also impervious Thunderbolts of thor odin or zeus
and to Irs audits spells from any nether world
or parrallel dimension contains a camelback for hot or cold drinks
and is resistant to coffee stains.

Interestingly the component matter of Goldenshowers is our primary
anti zepplinDreadnaught missille fuel.


I wish to be at a distance from the expected rain of zepplin dreadnaughts
the weather man forecast for this evening.

M

Granted but your hydrogen filled Zeppelin-Dreadnaughts are no match for Mushyland's deadly super-sailplanes firing Zeppelin-B-Gone explosive bullets. Sadly, the burning wrecks fall upon the yellow snow of Mushyland and your dreams of conquest go up in urine smelling smoke.

D'oh, too slow...

Granted, instead you are under a hail of lead balloons launched at taxpayer expense to observe the attack of the Zeppelin-Dreadnaughts.

I wish the only thing to fear was the U-Boat peril.

Granted. You shall fear Kapitanleutnant Balz with 10,000,000,000 tons to his credit

The allies are finished.....


I wish I could have a taller (U-boat) periscope ( you perverts) installed to fly my multitudinous victory penants, like KptLt. Balz does.
I also wish that it would never have the lenses taped-over.

Granted your parascope is so tall it breaks in the wind.

I wish for a taskforce land.It would be under my controal ofcourse.:D

Granted, the DDs spot the now taller periscope with no problem and work extra hard to remove it and you from existance, there's no need to crush the 2nd wish

EDIT: ARRRGH

Granted, it's a province of the Great Raptorland Empire, you are the person that runs the province

I wish I had a sub capable of crossing the Gobi desert completely submerged

Granted but it is eaten by a giant underground dwelling sandworm and you are excreted as a hallucinogenic spice-like dung. You subsequently become the subject of a reasonably good book and totally awful movie.

I wish someone else could lose the war in an afternoon.

Granted you now go by your alter ego labelmaker and lose
again the next afternoon.

I wish to offer Randomizer land and all its armies to ubootecomrade
land as a peace offering.

Granted, but the offer is refused as they have not interest in a flea infested rug from a dog basket.

I wish Randomizer land was bigger than a flea infested dog blanket

Granted, but who cares?

I wish my stupid dogs would shut up.

Granted, it is now large enough to include a pillow so he rest his weary flea infested head.

I wish nothing was painstakingly obvious.