Deleted... Too slow on the draw.

Granted, Raptor1 sticks with Plan B but nobody remembers what the plan was. The mission fails and we are all taken hostage as political blue chips.

I wish political blue chips was a brand of corn tortilla chips.

Granted, except that unbeknownst to all corn tortilla chips are really made from cow chips and not corn. The political kind are made from bull chips.

I wish the chip dip wasn't sheep dip.

Granted, the sheep dip is your new beer supplement.

I wish beer was unpolluted by sheep dip.

Granted, but it is now Dingo pee that is used so enjoy.

I wish the writing was on the ceiling instead of the wall.

Granted. However, preoccupied looking up and reading you fail to notice the booted foot heading towards your groin at high velocity...

I wish the band played on.

Granted, it plays on your mind 24/7 making you go mad and ending up being incarcarated in a mental institution for the rest of your life.

I wish gobbeldy gook was sensible.

Granted. Gobblety gook becomes sensible to nearly everyone, in fact it is quickly adopted as the de facto language of the human race. Unfortunately, you are the only one who can't understand it.

I wish I could understand what my cat is saying when she meows to me.

Granted, but you become a cat.

I wish that the Badenweiler March was still amazingly popular.

Granted, but only in Badenweiler.

I wish I knew what you were doing.

Granted, I'm currently crushing your wish.

I wish Jimbuna would buy me a beer without dingo pee in it.

Granted, but it now has Jimbuna pee in it.

I wish I hadn't thought of that possibility.

Granted, but the popular image of beer + dingo pee is burned into your psyche for all time.

I wish people would stop adding any type of pee to beer.

Granted, but then the yeast pee is absent from all beer, hence all beer is now alcohol free.

I wish it hadn't snowed here again today.

Granted, but is snowed the day before and it's going to snow tomorrow.

I wish frenetic activity would cease.