No

Who has the most?

I do.

Do you want some of them?

I have my own thanks.

When can the doubt be erased?

When you are old enough to no longer give a damn.

At what age does life begin?

Day 1

I haven't checked my lottery numbers yet, should I bother?

Yes, as long as you share the winnings between your fellow simmers, not forgetting to give Onkel Neal a slice for the site!

How much are we getting each?

Nowt, my numbers never came up.

What are the odds I'll win next week?

As good as ever.

I won 7 bucks on last nights draw. Should I splurge?

Only if dressed appropriately.

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

Probably for the same reason that abbreviation is such a long word.

Why would you want to teach your granny to suck eggs? Are shells soluble?

Because teaching her to blow them would be wrong.

Why does advertising work better with some people than others?

Because some people are illiterate.

Any idea where I left my reading glasses?

Check the top of your head.

Do feather boas constrict their prey?

No but the feathers have been known to choke people.

What size onesie do you prefer?

XL

When your wife offers to take you out for the evening should you pay?

No. Re-enact youthful hi-jinks and run out together without paying.

How long will it be before plod feels your collar?

Not long hopefully...she's a very attractive plod.

What's the justification in justifying oneself?

The justification is that you feel justified in justifying yourself. (I think).

If all the chinese people in the world jumped in the air simultaneously, would the earth shift on its axis?

No but your dinner would be late.

Which is your favorite dish?

Curry

Can you guess what is on the menu for supper tonight?