Granted, but then all of the Maytag repairmen would be out of business and the unemployment rate would go skyhigh - leading to mass revolt and rebellion and internal strife - ultimately to civil war. Your family would be destroyed and your life would be meaningless.

I wish that Cajun Salmon Dip were not so good...

granted the dip is fine but the salmon kills you.

I wish I hadnt crushed my cpu.

Granted, your CPU now overheats and burns down your house

I vish mein CPU vaz stronger und faster

Granted, it is now a stronger und faster Communist Party Unit and it has invaded your monitor, bombed your printer and has announced that it intends to totally destroy Raptorland.

I wish beer was a breakfast drink.

Granted, but you can't drink anything else

I wish I could convict and sentence him to death

Granted, you both live in North Korea and you are a high-ranking party official. However, Randomizer is a popular figure with the people, so you are summarily executed for executing him and undermining the Communist ideal.


I wish for good fortune to smile upon us all.

Granted, it smiles as it laughs at our pathetic fate

I wish that good fortune would stop laughing

Granted, it now scowls at you in a way that would make old women faint and babies fill their nappies.

I wish the right hand side of my face wasn't numb.

Granted, now the right side face of your hand is numb

I wish I knew what I just said

Granted, but the knowledge doesn't help you one bit in life

I wish you knew what you just said

Granted, but the knowledge doesn't help me one bit in life (ah, wait, I just crushed myself:hmm:)

I wish I'd never said that which I did not know what I said

Granted, you were strangled by your umbilical cord before birth.


I wish I were GLaD

Granted, but the cake is still a lie

I wish I could keep on trying 'till I ran out of cake

Granted, your heart is broken and you are killed. And torn to pieces. And every piece was thrown into a fire. But look on the bright side; the science got done and you made a neat gun for the people who are still alive:D


I wish more people got the Portal reference

Granted, more people get it but still don't find it funny.

I wish boring meetings would end quicker

Granted, but that just allows time for more boring meetings to be scheduled back to back.

I wish supper had been pub food and cold beers.

Granted, but now you have a terrible headache

I wish the crows will feed on your rotting corpse (Not Randomizer, rather...YOU!)

Granted, but the crows that fed on my rotting corpse decide to fly over your place on their way home and suddenly get stricken with sever diarrhea.

I wish the fetid remains of my rotting corpse finds peace at Raptor1's place.

Granted, seeing as he lives in a swamp, that shouldn't be a problem.

I wish daleks were friendly to you know who.

Granted the Daleks are friendly to the woman who sits across from
you.

I wish Jimbuna was locked out of the tardis