Double-crush!
TarJak wrote:
Granted, all Olympic venues and athletes have been shrunken to a mere 10% of life size.

Jimbuna wrote:
Granted, mediocracy is now mandatory for all university professors, political leaders, nuclear engineers and airline pilots.

I wish science could cure stupidity.

Granted, by killing everyone stupid, starting with you (No offense)

I wish I would not get sent to the gulag

Granted, you are executed at dawn instead.

I wish I had more time at the pub.

Granted, but there was a small type-o and you get more time with a:
http://www.pink-world.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/pug9.jpg


I wish I could get ready for camping faster.

Granted, you are all ready to go camping, just as three days of heavy, unseasonable snow hits.

I wish I owned a Ring of Power.

OT and unrelated to any person, place or thing around here:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news...ost_comment_on

Granted, you owned it for 2 seconds as you plunged into the heart of a volcano. Congrats Smeagol.


I wish the puppy would quit chewing stuff up.

Granted, the strange man that hangs about in your street offers to train it but both the puppy and the man are never seen again.

I wish I could travel through time.

Granted, you get to move from the present to the future at the exact same rate a severyone else on the planet.

I wish that man would take good care of my puppy.

Granted, the puppy is so happy that it doesn't want to return to you.

I wish all diseases had a cure.

Granted, but because no-one gets sick any more the world's health services collapse. Then one day, a single case of hairyitis is discovered. It then spreads unchecked and with each passing day more people succumb to it until the whole of earth's population is wiped out in one great hairy mess.

I wish I could think of a better crush than the frankly rather lame 'hairyitis'.

Granted, but it;'s not much better so you let me do it instead and I say;

Granted, all diseases are wiped out. The resulting overpopulation results in a drastic increase in civil war, genocide and famine to compensate.


I wish things were easy.

Granted, things become so easy that any idiot could run the whole show and inevitably, one gets put in charge. Unfortunately, when something becomes idiot-proof Nature's response is to evolve a better idiot and the world descends into greater chaos, confusion and despair.

I wish the world made sense.

Granted, but it's 'idiotic sense'

I wish flowers were nomadic.

Granted, but they all migrate to Kew Gardens.

I wish beer wasn't fattening.

Granted, it now makes you anorexic instead.

I wish I hadn't just crushed a beer dream and destroyed a small part of the collective soul of mankind.