The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

When you're young, speed and adrenaline seem amazing. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that security and peace of mind are more important.
This is called S.O.S. (slow, old, smart)

Markus

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway!

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

It is so cool that everything in the entire world is now made of cheap garbage that becomes useless in two years
and can't be repaired, but takes 2,000 years to decompose
and 1000s of kilograms of carbon emissions to make.

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

It was not 12/21/12 the world would come to an end-It's 12/21/22

Markus