Granted, but it is worthless Monopoly money.

I wish I knew who won the paper chase.

Granted, you did but the paper you chased was used toilet paper.

I wish drinking was a substitute for thinking

Granted, but it's not a very effective substitute

I wish I had a can of Coca-Cola.

Granted the gods go sane and drop one on you from a cessna
at ten thousand feet, Nicely landing square atop your head.
well almost the listening to the whistling as it approaches
causes you to look up.


I wish that suddenly instead of a can of of coke it
turned into a banana cream pie so no one wastes
good coca cola.

Granted, but the can is empty.

I wish I knew why they call a leper in a windtunnel....confetti.

When they run the test on you later today you will find out...

I wish people were not so sarcastic and rude and evil and violent to each other...

Granted people are not so sarcastic and rude and evil and violent to each other, they are straight-talking, considerate, good and warm and fuzzy feeling to each other. In fact, they all turn into Tribbles and the Earth is consumed by mass quantities of them

I wish to squish the baboonish batfish with the yellowish spikefish

Granted but as soon as the deed is done the irrepressible
nympho maniac yellowish spikefish makes you the worlds first pregnant
man and then leaves you with the 400 kids to care for while
he seeks his fortune at seaworld.


I wish you and your new family all the best at least the
media will leave a lone that lady with the litter o kids now.

Granted and now they turn their attention to you, hounding you day and night, not letting you get any rest, until finally you cannot stand it all and move in with JB and the BFB that works across from him.

I wish JB had not talked about that BFB in the first place...

Granted, you know nothing about her until she slips into bed with you one night for a bit of how's your father.

I wish NealT would stop banging on about the JB's BFB.

Granted, he now makes a movie but insists on starring in it himself.

I wish he could put up with her butt breath.

Granted, but only for a very limited time

I wish curiosity will kill the cat already, gah!

Granted, curiosity killed the cat already, gah! Unfortunately, that also kills the "I know curiosity killed the cat but...." thread causing a cosmic conundrum and driving the residents of Raptor1oburg to grab their pitchforks and torches and chase you to the ends of the earth looking for their itty bitty kitties

I wish all malware writers' crotches and armpits would be infested with the fleas, crabs and STD's of an infinite number of leprous camels

granted, but now there is an overflow of leprous camels, and they all live...in your house

i wish i could rip out my sinuses, they dont really serve any other purpose than to irratate me an clog up my nose

Granted, but you accidentally damage your brain and become a meat-puppet.

I wish that Zeus and Odin could coexist.