Double Crush Time
Granted, but Dorothy claims that you tried to molest her and you are arrested. Your lawyer gets the charges dropped but now you are being sued by the Lion for making him cry. The Yellow Brick Road need to be replaced, the munchkins have started to revolt and some straw guy is planning a coup. Did I mention the smelly little gift Toto left on your floor...

Tango589 wrote:
I wish I could talk to the animals.

Granted, you can talk to them all you wish but they still won't listen.

I wish the world would stop rotating.

Granted, but now the planet doesn't suck and we all fall off

I wish I was omnipotent and my dreams were uncrushable

Granted, but being omnipotent, you know that refusing to have your dreams crushed will result in the universe's destruction, so you step down from your position after 2 minutes

I wish it was now later before the time runs out

Granted, but a time paradox makes it 60 years later and you find yourself on your death bed.

I wish I had a nice warm cup of coffee that wasnt poisioned, spat in, peed in, cold, dried up, made in china,russia or Italy, locked in a box, closet, wardrobe or chest of drawers, lost, in another country, stolen by tony blair, steed, Hitler, the kaiser, putin, Raptor1, Bernard, that shady guy, toto, tojo, stalin gordon brown, geroge bush, david jason, hugh laurie or the straw guy and it couldnt be crused by another wish.

:smug:

Granted, Digital_Trucker stepped down as the Omnipotent one and the resulting political fallout spreads into Raptorland, causing civil war...

Beaten to the punch:

Granted, but you have to get it from Area 51... Note: The guards there will shoot anybody on sight if they don't follow the guard's orders to halt...
Have fun with your coffee!

I wish a perfect, free-dream-crushing, day, everyday!

Granted, but now it's night and your perfect free no dream crushing day is over and you forgot to pay the power bill so you are in a dark lonely cold house with nothing to entertain you except for a battery powered radio and the batteries are dead and the birds are flying into your windows and screaming "Nevermore"

I wish I had no brain

Granted but it comes from the riflemans mace.

I wish the lastpage thingie worked better.

Granted, much better than the peultimate thingie worked anyway.

I wish the wife would pay for the curry tonight.

Granted, but it's your money she uses to pay for it with

I wish all telemarketers would be condemned to a hell in which they had to listen to their own spiels for all eternity

Granted, but due to an unfortunate and uncorrectable bureaucratic error, Digital Truckers are sent to telemarketer's hell when they die.

I wish Cat would quit being so fussy and eat whats put in front of her.

Granted, but that was your dinner that was put in front of her.

I wish mice could fly.

Granted, however cats everywhere stage a mass protest outside your house.

I wish I knew why my girlfriend slapped me yesterday. :cry:

Granted, but once you realize why you are slapped you are confronted with the realization that the following is a diagram of a woman's brain

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...omansBrain.gif

I wish I could afford a psychiatrist

Granted, hello sir, im your psychiatrist for today at £10 an hour, please, take a seat over there... :rotfl:

I wish I wasnt tired.

Granted, your now tyred instead.

I wish my supper would arrive.

Granted, but it arrives at my house

I wish I had my 1975 MGB roadster back

Granted but the curry delivery guy takes it because he ran
out of petrol for his coming all the way from england for
your troubles though you at least acquire a rundown cortina
and a triple order of Lamb Vindaloo:oops:


I wish I had a triple order of Lamb Vindaloo:up::up::up:

[edit] Disclaimer and warning for the uncultured.
if youve never heard of it, dont try it until youve
talked to someone whos actually eaten it, it may
leave you in need of a New Paintjob or a theraputic
Nutritionist.

Granted, but your toilet now looks like the one in the Photo Captions thread.

I wish I hadn't seen that photo

Granted, you've never seen that photo, but your toilet now looks like the one in that photo

I wish that silly commercial on TV would go away

Granted but the Geico Cavemen get their own show now with its own
bad commercials.

I wish Tarjak had NBCW Gear and a Plunger maybe a bailing can
and several bearers.