:rotfl:

But I always thought it was a "surprised mother-in-law". Works both ways, though.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

-- Dick Van Dyke

He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
Proverbs 13:3

I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
- Charles Montgomery Burns

"If a man talks in the forrest and there's no woman there to hear it, is it still wrong?"

Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.

-- Mark Twain

:up:

According to The Frau, yes. Even if she is not there, she will find out what I said and yes I would be wrong. Even if I were right, I would be wrong for talking about something with her not around.

A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself. He belongs to whatever can make captive of him.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

--Groucho Marx

"Whatever you're doing, it's not as important as petting the cat."
-Every cat I've ever known

More like feeding the cat, if you ask me. Believe me, I have two of the buggers:roll:

(love 'em both)

yuk yuk
 

From Woody Allen:
I'm not afraid of death...I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Some humour just does not go out of style :up:

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
-Groucho Marx

-This is Stalin joke. Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-I ASK THE QUESTIONS!

Robin Williams as a russian....

“I once called her up to tell her I'd had 200 trade unionists shot dead and thrown into the sea. "Gusty, dear", she said, "give me the resources you have and I'd create a new island of dead leftists in the South Pacific by lunchtime tomorrow." Damn, that's cold!” - Augusto Pinochet on Margaret Thatcher

In Heaven, the police are all British, the mechanics are all German, the chefs are all Italian, the lovers are all French and everything is run by the Swiss.

In Hell, the police are all German, the mechanics are all French, the chefs are all British, the lovers are all Swiss and everything is run by the Italians.

-from a T-shirt I saw once

I must place on record my regret that the human race ever learned to fly. Sir Winston Churchill