Granted, it is a real card game that your friends will laugh at you for playing. Enjoy.


I wish my new girlfriend wasn't such an idiot.

Granted, she's smart enough to ditch you

I wish flaming monkeys roamed the land

Granted, however having wished for them they are drawn like moths to a flame to your house where they follow you around buring everything in their path until you are and they are both consumed in their fire ending the entire debacle with one of the non-flaming monkeys putting out the fire by urinating on you.

I wish I could have slept better this morning.

Granted, but you don't wake up when a monkey is urinating all over you, causing you to wake up all wet and surprisingly good smelling, in contrary how you used to smell when you wake up....

I wish I was slimmer.

Granted, you're now so slim you are considered a demonic being by religious fanatics and are burned to the stake

I wish I could think of something even more cruel and painful

Granted but you are then found to be in breach of the Geneva convention concerning cruel and unusual punishments so you are imprisoned an a Supermax jail for 35 years.

I wish it wasn't so much effort do do anything in the heat.

Granted, but the exoskeleton worksuit that enables you to lift objects 1000 times your own weight acts as a frying pan in the heat.

I wish for those damned cats to stop rummaging though my garbage.

Granted, they have been generally opposing the full scale second invasion (Thusly wasting their time in your garbage) but have now joined the Cat Liberation Army

I wish someone would find a way to stop the cat invasion

Granted, I've taken away there fuel tokens.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted, you recieve an additional wish by way of the Make-a-Wish foundation when they find out you are terminally ill.

I wish I could drink beer at work.

Granted, no one is really stopping you, but you are fired for doing it

I wish Depth Charges were filled with candies

Granted, but the chocolatey center is replaced with nitroglycerine and there are about a thousand of them in one depth charge alone...

I wish for a endless supply of cola...

D'oh, too late to crush Ratptor1's dream...

Granted, the endless supply of cola quicky overfills the oceans of the world completely destroying all aquatic life. This dooms humanity whose last act is to execute you by pumping you full of no-name sugar-free cola until you burst.

I wish I knew what a Spider Pig does.

Granted, they are used by rifleman to keep his endless supply of cola, and you are 'silenced' by him for knowing too much, shortly he himself is made to 'disappear' by the Cola Conglomerate

I wish the Cola Conglomerate would stop making people 'disappear'

Granted. The Cola Conglomerate finally make it public knowledge that COLA IS PEOPLE!

I wish mu tower fan hadn't just packed up.