Granted, that includes people who terrorize this thread, so you are extinct too

I wish T-H-E-M weren't coming

Granted, they aren't, but someone else much worse is.

I wish for less flatulence in the world.

Granted, curries are banned worldwide.

I wish my carry out would arrive soon.

Granted, but then it is taken back since it is not delivery, and you must go pick it up.

I wish Jimbuna would stop crushing my dreams and give someone else a chance.

Granted, somebody else gets to crush your dream. Unfortunately for you that someone is me, causing the universe to explode for no adequately explained reason.

I wish the roast on the barbeque was done.

Granted, but your cholesterol will get sky high and you will die.

I wish I had a backscratcher long enough to reach that itchy spot in the middle of my back.

Granted, but that backscratcher given to you is a 2x4 with poisonous barbed wire strewn around it.

I wish my SH3 Kaleun could get past 1940...

Granted, on Janueary 1 1941 he dies whilst attempting to blow tanks directly beneath a British TF with several cruisers, BB's and DD's.

I wish I had a curry for lunch instead of steamed vegetables.

Granted, but they're both loathsome.:-?

I wish that I had a magical raccoon.

Granted, it has the power to annihilate the world, with or without your permission

I wish I had a magical machine-gun

Granted, but you're banned for using an aimbot on a VAC protected server.

I wish that my raccoon's name would be Squiggles and he could shoot pixie dust out his ass.

Granted but you accidently get accidently behind said racoon and the rest is history.;)
I wish life had a time compresion button.

Granted, life had a time compression..however you used it as you used it in SH3..you went to 1400X and ran into an 18 wheel truck.As you know time compression can go backwards!

:hmm: I wish Jennifer Rostock was my girlfriend even though she's probably in her 18-20's and I'm 15. :rock: And live with me forever!

Granted you to get together, But then you see anouther Girl you would like. But your stuck with her FOR LIFE.:cool: Ps Im glad to know im not the only 15 year old on this fourm.

I wish I had a Ferreri sportscar.:D

Granted, but you will have to build it yourself because Ferreri doesn't exist as a company and when you launch your car, Ferrari sues you for breach of trademark.

I wish I could say "Theophilus Thistler the thistle sifter, in sifting a sieveful of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb", six times very quickly without making a mistake.