Just enough to deprive you of any wood furniture you have in your house.

I wish the talent was better skilled.

Granted, the talent has the skill to see you coming and take what you have without you realising.

I wish there were more ways to skin a cat.

Granted, but you are selected as the trial object for the new government run, taxpayer funded cat-skinning technique expansion program and get to offer up your assorted body parts for flaying.

I wish there was no dark side of the moon.

Granted, it's now yellow in colour.

I wish my chest of drawers could paint instead.

Granted, but your chest of drawers paints you up to look like the American flag and FedEx's you to Tehran.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted, you now found what you wish for however you forgot it whilst performing a task and you're back to square one.

I wish trees, and bushes could trim themselves.

Granted, but your still responsible for trimming the grass.

I wish the secret was revealed secretly.

granted, the secret is secretly revealed to everyone but you

I wish all music was death metal:rock:

Granted, but then all the music sounds exactly the same and the human race dies of boredom. :D

I wish I hadn't sent jimbuna to Tehran. :wah:

Granted, you sent him to Stalingrad, 1942 instead

I wish war will break out in exactly 9 hours and 28 minutes

Granted but since no time zone was specified in your wish the wish masters cancel your wish due to sloppy staff work and lack of attention to detail. As punishment for wasting their time you are assigned permanent latrine duty in a nuclear waste dump and all your hair falls out.

I wish computer printers never ran out of ink.

Granted, they never run out of ink but they do run out of paper.

I wish Clear Paper Jam was a tasty breakfast spread.

Granted, but the staples cause terrible lacerations to your gums.

I wish cows didn't always speak a load of tripe.

Granted, but now the cows all speak fluent Vogon.

I wish there were more beer in the fridge.

Granted, but it's my fridge they're in.

I wish hypocricy was timid.